April 1, 2011:      The Spaghetti Tree

I know that at least a few of you are old enough to remember the Jack Paar Show – and some of those few will even admit it.   One of the more memorable bits on this show was the famous Spaghetti Tree ‘documentary’ which was originally broadcast on BBC.   This 2 and 1/2 minute black & white film documented an unusually good harvest from the spaghetti trees in Southern Switzerland.   Even to my pre-adolescent eyes somehow this did not seem quite right, but many people believed it. 

Many people feel that this is one of the all time best April Fool jokes ever perpetrated.   See for yourself (quality is a little poor):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdQqh9jvB6w&feature=related

Meanwhile, here’s where you can see me this cruelest of months:

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April 1, Friday, 8-10:00 PM – Eric Heilner,  Carnegie Hall, 881 7th Ave, New York, NJ 10019 (212) 999-9999  
I am pleased to make my debut performance at this well known musical theater.  For my opening numbers I will be doing the Chopin Sonata #42 in E minor and several Mazurkas. Following intermission I will be doing Grieg’s Piano Concerto with the full New York Metropolitan Symphony under the able baton of James Levine.  Ticket prices are $100, $80, $60. 

April 4, Monday, 9PM-late – Big Ed Sullivan’s World Famous Blues Jam,  The Grisley Pear, 107 MacDougal St, New York, NY 10012 (212) 529-3808 
I rarely get out on a Monday Night, being a working bloke and all that.   But this Monday my shackles will be unlocked and I will be let loose on the town. There is no cover charge or minimum at The Grisley Pear, but I am told that it is strict club policy that you must have a good time or they won’t let you stay.  
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Big-Ed-Sullivan/253831450378

April 9, Saturday, 8-9:30 PM – Lunatic Fringe,  Piano’s Bar & Grill, 36 Broad St, Bloomfield, NJ 07003 (973) 743-7208  Reservations: (973) 429-1527
Tired of the news?   Can’t cover your income tax bill?  No problem, come laugh your troubles away.  Cover charge is $12, $10 with a reservation. 
http://www.pianosbarandgrill.com
http://www.lunaticfringeimprov.com
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=53938723078&ref=ts

April 20, Wednesday, 8:30-11:30 PM – Arthur Neilson,  Hill Country BBQ, 30 W 26th St, New York, NY 10010 (212) 255-42544 
If you like BBQ, then this is a place you shouldn’t miss.   If you like great music, this is a night you shouldn’t miss. Last time we were here, some amazing musicians came up and sat in.  This time around?    The only way to find out is to show up.
http://www.hillcountryny.com/home.php
http://www.arthurneilson.com/

March 5, 2011:      Obsolete

Shortly I will be obsolete. 

Unless you’ve been in complete isolation for the last 20 years (in which case you would not be receiving this e-mail in the first place) you are aware that computers are taking over everything.  They can beat the best chess player in the world, they can beat the best Jeopardy players in the world, according to today’s NY Times they are replacing lawyers (insert your favorite lawyer joke here) and, yes, they are taking over both the playing and composing of music.

Case in point, if you want some laughs, go here (thanks Hannah!):

http://www.thebluesmaker.com/

Now, you too can compose your own blues song in just three minutes. Yeah, I know it’s a goof site, but there are more serious things going on.   If you’re curious, just do a search web on “Computer composed Music”.   Time is running out for us mere mortals.

So…. If you can want to see me play before I become totally obsolete, better act fast.  There’s no telling when

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March 6, Sunday, 3-6 PM – Blues Jam Afternoon,  Hat City, 459 Valley St, Orange, NJ 07050 (862) 252-9147
Al Gold has been running this great blues jam for the last few months and it’s been taking off.  The room is clean and open, the food is great, the music has been outstanding, and it’s on a Sunday afternoon – so all us all old farts who have to get to work the next day don’t have to worry about losing sleep.  No cover.
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=205914019423923&index=1ts

March 12, Saturday, 8-9:30 PM – Lunatic Fringe,  Piano’s Bar & Grill, 36 Broad St, Bloomfield, NJ 07003 (973) 743-7208  Reservations: (973) 429-1527
February’s show was (in my humble opinion) one of the funniest shows these guys have ever put on  Cover charge is $12, $10 with a reservation. 
http://www.pianosbarandgrill.com
http://www.lunaticfringeimprov.com
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=53938723078&ref=ts

March 19, Saturday, 8:00PM-2:00AM – Nikki Armstrong & Whole Lotta Blues, B.B. King Blues Club & Grill, 237 West 42 St (212) 997-4144 
It’s a Saturday Night in New York City and I will be joining forces with the incomparible Nikki Armstrong and an amazing group of musicians to make superb music.  Note that there are two rooms at BB King’s, we will be playing in Lucille’s Lounge, which is off to the left as you go down the staircase.   (I think Vanilla Fudge – The Farewell Tour is playing in the other room.)  There is no cover charge but there may be some minimum to sit at a table.  The food is excellent but just a little on the pricey side (this is in Time Square after all); however you can also hang out at the bar and stay for the price of a beer or soda.
http://www.bbkingblues.com/index.php
http://www.myspace.com/nikkiarmstrongbands
http://www.nikkiarmstrong.com/

February 3, 2011:      That White Stuff Coming From the Sky

The Snow Storm
Announced by all the trumpets of the sky,    
Arrives the snow, and, driving o’er the fields,    
Seems nowhere to alight: the whited air    
Hides hills and woods, the river, and the heaven,    
And veils the farm-house at the garden’s end.         
The sled and traveller stopped, the courier’s feet    
Delayed, all friends shut out, the housemates sit    
Around the radiant fireplace, enclosed    
In a tumultuous privacy of storm.

Or so says Ralph Waldo Emerson.  Here’s my take:

The Snow Storm
Announced by all the forecasters of the stations,    
Arrives yet another danged snowstorm, and, driving o’er the lawns,    
Seems nowhere to alight: the whited air (visibility 1/4 mile)   
Hides malls and marts, the storm drain, and the airport,    
And veils the gas station at Valley Road’s end. 
The Decamp bus and commuters stopped, the FedEx guy  
Delayed, all friends shut out, the housemates sit    
Around the radiant wide screen TV,   
As I work from home.

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Feb 4, Friday, 7:00-9:30ish PM – Eric Heilner at Ruthie’s Bar-B-Q & Pizza, 64 1/2 Chestnut Ave, Montclair  (973) 509-1134
If you close your eyes and inhale deeply, you can imagine for a moment that you are in a nice warm place – somewhere on Bourbon Street in New Orleans.  I’ll be doing some boogie woogie, some Dr. John tunes, and mixing it up with proprietor Eric Kaplan on guitar.  
http://www.ruthiesbbq.com/

Feb 12, Saturday, 8-9:30 PM – Lunatic Fringe,  Piano’s Bar & Grill, 36 Broad St, Bloomfield, NJ 07003 (973) 743-7208  Reservations: (973) 429-1527
January’s show totally sold out!  On top of that we got a great review in the local blog – and even yours truly got a mention:  http://www.baristanet.com/2011/01/laughing-with-the-lunatics/  Cover charge is $12, $10 with a reservation. 
http://www.pianosbarandgrill.com
http://www.lunaticfringeimprov.com
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=53938723078&ref=ts

Feb 19, Saturday, 8-12ish PM – Fundraiser for WFDU,  Mexicali Blues, 1409 Queen Anne Road, Teaneck, NJ 07666 (201) 833-0011  
WFDU 89.1 continually leads the way in promoting and supporting Blues and Roots Music.   Hosted by harmonica master Dennis Gruenling, WFDU will be having it’s annual fundraiser at Mexacali Blues in Teaneck.  I will be playing with Dennis and Better Off Dead.  The food is excellent, so show up early for dinner.Donation is $20.    
http://www.mexicalilive.com
http://www.dennisgruenling.com/sitemap.htm
http://www.betteroffdead.com/home.htm/
http://wfdu.fdu.edu/home.html

January 8, 2011:      My First Overseas Performance

Those of you who happened to be in Italy the last week of December may have caught my impromptu perormance at the Pantheon Inn in Rome on Dec 29th:

In case you’re doubting the authenticity of this picture, notice the bust on top of the piano.   I got excellent reviews from the clerk at the front desk.

The remainder of you will have to settle for seeing me back in the USA.

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Jan 8, Saturday, 8-9:30 PM – Lunatic Fringe,  Piano’s Bar & Grill, 36 Broad St, Bloomfield, NJ 07003 (973) 743-7208  Reservations: (973) 429-1527
I know you’ve all made New Year’s resolutions to see at least one Lunatic Fringe show this year, so now is the perfect opportunity to fulfill at least one of your resolutions.  We all know what happens to those “I’m gonna live a better life” promises….  Cover charge is $12, $10 with a reservation. 
http://www.pianosbarandgrill.com
http://www.lunaticfringeimprov.com
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=53938723078&ref=ts

Jan 15, Saturday, 9:00PM-12:30ish AM – Better off Dead at at Robin’s Nest Rhythm and Blues, 3103 Tremley Point Road, Linden, NJ, 07036 (908) 290-3090
The only thing you’ll ever catch from VD King is  a rollicking good time (yeah, yeah grammar police, I know that’s some sort of weird mixed metaphor) 
http://www.betteroffdead.com/home.htm/
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Linden-NJ/Robins-Nest-Rhythm-and-Blues-RNRB/178750518562
http://www.robinsnestrhythmandblues.com/

Jan 21, Friday, 9:00 PM -1:00 AM – Arthur Neilson at Robin’s Nest Rhythm and Blues, 3103 Tremley Point Road, Linden, NJ, 07036 (908) 290-3090
Two weeks in a row at Robin’s Nest, first with VD King and then with Arthur Neilson.   Arthur will doing a lot of touring with Shemekia Copeland this year, so there’s no telling when you’ll get another chance to see him.
http://www.arthurneilson.com/
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Linden-NJ/Robins-Nest-Rhythm-and-Blues-RNRB/178750518562
http://www.robinsnestrhythmandblues.com/

Feb 4, Friday, 7:00-9:30ish PM – Eric Heilner at Ruthie’s Bar-B-Q & Pizza, 64 1/2 Chestnut Ave, Montclair  (973) 509-1134
Eric K has added ribs to the menu.  Yumm.  Last time around, Eric K sat in on acoustic guitar.  It sounded might good.  We did one song in each key (you musical types will appreciate that).   BYOB.  
http://www.ruthiesbbq.com/

November 13, 2010:      What Makes Us Tick

Those busy beavers, the scientists, are at it again – doing those danged experiments to figure out what makes us folks tick.   Here is an actual experiment that made the news recently:

Subjects are asked to memorize lists of numbers.  One group is asked to memorize a two digit number, while the other is asked to memorize a seven digit number.  They are then instructed to go down a hallway to another room.  On their way down the hallway, they are offered a snack to thank them for their participation.  The snack?  They can either have a luscious piece of moist chocolate cake or some healthy fruit.   And here’s where things get interesting.   The folks who had to memorize the seven digit number?  They are twice as likely to choose the cake as the folks who only had to memorize the two digit number.   This result is consistent across age and gender.

The conclusion is that when the rational part of our mind is hard at work it gets overloaded (ummm, gotta remember … 7624902, 7624902, 7624902, what was that?) and then our emotional brain takes over (yummmm, chocolate cake much tastier than healthy fruit).  

You can get some very funny commentary here: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=122781981.

Or, if you want to spend $14, you can get a re-print of the original paper here:  http://www.jstor.org/pss/2489734   “Heart and Mind in Conflict: The Interplay of Affect and Cognition in Consumer Decision Making” – now say that three times real fast.

You may use either your rational mind and/or your emotional mind to enjoy these performances….

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Nov 13, Saturday, 8-9:30 PM – Lunatic Fringe,  Piano’s Bar & Grill, 36 Broad St, Bloomfield, NJ 07003 (973) 743-7208  Reservations: (973) 429-1527
Lunatic Fringe is back in action and Carl L. has yet another chance to stretch his legs and get out of the house (sorry, that’s an in joke).  If you voted Democrat, you can laugh away your concrns over the last election, if you’re Republican you can come and gloat.  There is a cover charge of $12, $10 with a reservation. 
http://www.pianosbarandgrill.com
http://www.lunaticfringeimprov.com
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=53938723078&ref=ts

Nov 24, Wednesday, 8-12 PM – Kevin Kiley Blues Jam,  Franklin Tavern, 97-99 Franklin Ave. West Orange, NJ   862-224-4063
The Franklin Tavern makes the mainstream media.   There’s a great article in this week’s issue (Nov 15) of The New Yorker magzine about Bettye LaVette – and near the end of the article the writer describes a typical Wednesday night at the Franklin.  If you’re at all familiar with The New Yorker, you know that the quality of writing is high caliber and this article is no exception.  You will actually have to spend money to read the full article, but it will be money well spent.  Nov 24th is the night before Thanksgiving, so you can stay out a little later than usual and catch some blues.   There’s no cover charge, but it’s a good thing to buy a drink or soda and tip the bartender.
http://www.myspace.com/franklintavern
http://www.myspace.com/kevinkileytheoutpatients

Dec 3, Friday, 7:00-9:30ish PM – Eric Heilner at Ruthie’s Bar-B-Q & Pizza, 64 1/2 Chestnut Ave, Montclair  (973) 509-1134
It’s getting cold outside so Ruthie’s is going indoors for music.   I’ll be doing a mix of New Orleans, boogie woogie, and a dash of good old rock & roll.  BYOB.  
http://www.ruthiesbbq.com/

October 11, 2010:      Coffee

“Coffee.”    Not the drink, the word.   Say it out loud.  “Coffee”.  Did anyone laugh at you?   They may say “Huh?”, but laugh at you?  Probably not.   But when I say “coffee”, my wife and kids break out into laughter.    For some reason I have a real strong New York City accent on a few choice words, and my pronunciation always cracks them up.   It’s been a running family joke for the longest time.

Recently I was in Raleigh, North Carolina on business (don’t ask) and the sales guy took me and some customers out to a local steak house,   It was a very heavy duty masculine atmosphere – whiskey shots, etc – but since these guys were all fellow computer geeks I managed to hold my own.    And then came time for dessert and (you guessed it) coffee.  As soon as the I uttered the sentence “Yes, I’ll have a coffee, please” I heard the same exact guffaws I hear at our family gatherings.  

“Cawfee anyone?”

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October 23, Saturday, 9:00PM-1:00AM – Nikki Armstrong & Friends, An Evening of 60’s & 70’s Flashbacks!,  Hungry Peddler, 470 Knickerbocker Rd, Cresskill, NJ 07626 (201) 894-0718  
The 60s and the 70s – when music was still good (at least some of the 70s).   Am I prejudiced about music?  Nah, just accurate.   Plus Nikki Armstrong.  What’s not to like?
http://www.myspace.com/nikkiarmstrongbands
http://www.nikkiarmstrong.com/

October 30, Saturday, 10:00PM-1:00AM – Better off Dead at The Great Notch Inn, Route 46, Little Falls  (973) 256-7742
Yes, you can make the Rally to Restore Sanity in DC and still be back in time to party in style.   Costumes are optional, but you must be prepared to have fun.  
http://www.betteroffdead.com/home.htm/
http://www.agreatertown.com/little_falls_nj/great_notch_inn_new_jerseys_rockin_roadhouse_00089580