January 3, 2013:      When I’m Sixty Four – the Sad Saga Continues

Last month I mused on the fact that while I had recently passed this musical milestone age, I was not going to go quietly into the night mending fuses and tending to the garden.   Well, reality just b-slapped me in the face.   I do not know how to describe the awful horror, but I’ll do my best.

Yes, it finally happened.

A young person offered me a seat on the subway.   <Cue the screechy violin music from Psycho>

It started off innocently enough.   I was catching the #1 train from Lincoln Center down to the Port Authority.    The subway pulls into the station and a bunch of folks crowd into the car.   There’s one empty seat, but I prefer to stand and I only got a few stops anyway, so I position myself near the door.   

Then some young guy says: “Sir, would you like this seat?”   

Me: “Oh no thanks”
YG:  “Are you sure?”
Me: “No thanks, I only got a few stops”

It didn’t even register at first what was going on.   Then slowly the realization came over me.  What??  Me??    Need a seat??   Noooo… Not me……

So I am now officially old.   But that ain’t gonna stop me. 

==========================
Jan 5, Saturday, 7:00-9:00ish PM – Arne Englund, Ruthie’s BBQ, 64 1/2 Chestnut Ave, Montclair  (973) 509-1134
It’s too bad you can’t get frequent driver miles, because Arrne Englund would be driving first class at least once a month.  Arne is a super guitarist/singer who hails from western Jersey – but he plays so frequently in this area that we should make him an honorary Essex County resident.   As always, Ruthie’s is BYO.  
http://www.ruthiesbbq.com/

Jan 12 Saturday, 8-9:30 PM – Lunatic Fringe,  Glen Ridge Community Center @ The Glen Ridge Train Station, 228 Ridgewood Avenue (corner of Bloomfield Avenue), Glen Ridge, NJ   Reservations: (973) 429-1527
Fun fact?  2013 is the first year since 1987 which does not have a repeated number.  Want some funny facts?   Come to the show.   Hi Sean, you are missed!
http://www.lunaticfringeimprov.com
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=53938723078&ref=ts

Jan 18, Friday, 7:00-9:00ish PM – Rob Signorile, Ruthie’s BBQ, 64 1/2 Chestnut Ave, Montclair  (973) 509-1134
We had a great gig last last month at Hat City with the full band Jump, Shuffle, and Moan.  This time it’s just me & Rob making it up as we go along (and it will be merrily).   Hmm.  What should I have for dinner?   The ribs or the brisket burger?  
http://www.ruthiesbbq.com/

Jan 26, Saturday, 9:00 PM-Midnight – Better Off Dead at The Great Notch Inn, Route 46, Little Falls  (973) 256-7742
Change is inevitable.   For years, the playing hours at The Great Notch have been 10-1 AM.  But this is 2013, the US government got through the fiscal cliff (at least this one), and we will be starting an hour earlier – playing from 9 through midnight.   Seeing as how I barely made it to midnight on New Year’s Eve that’s much better for this elderly person.   Anyone want to catch the early bird special with me before the show?
http://www.betteroffdead.com/home.htm/
http://www.agreatertown.com/little_falls_nj/great_notch_inn_new_jerseys_rockin_roadhouse_00089580

November 29, 2012:      When I’m Sixty-Four 

Amidst everything else, I recently passed this musical milestone age.   Now I never related to this Beatles tune when it first came out – it was way to cutesy.   But even when I tried to “get into it”, 64 seemed impossibly far away.  At 19 years old I couldn’t identify with being 24, let alone 64.     

Paul might as well have sung when I’m 164.

So now that got only 10 more months to go until Medicare Part A kicks in, do I finally identify with the sentiments?   Nah.

BTW – not that I was ever a fan of his, but John Denver of all people does an interesting version:   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vymwRKKTKoA

Meanwhile, in an unusual alignment of the musical stars, I am appearing the next three days in a row:

= = = = = = = = = = = =
Nov 30, Friday, 10:00PM-1:00AM – Better Off Dead at The Great Notch Inn, Route 46, Little Falls  (973) 256-7742
In honor of the recent meteorological, ummm, “event”, VD has written a new tune titled “Sandy”.    We’ll try it out, but if you want a preview, you can check it out here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVdoFYlXDYY
http://www.betteroffdead.com/home.htm/
http://www.agreatertown.com/little_falls_nj/great_notch_inn_new_jerseys_rockin_roadhouse_00089580

Dec 1, Saturday, 8:30PM-11:30PM – Jump, Shuffle, and Moan at Hat City, 459 Valley Street,  City of Orange, NJ 07050 (862) 252-9147
Rob Signorile fronts this tight blues combo.  Hat City is clean, it has a good sound system, and it has a great menu. You can leave your hat on.
http://www.hatcitykitchen.com

Dec 2, Sunday, 4:00PM-9:00PM – “Turn the Tide” Benefit Concert at The Red Lion, 151 Bleeker St.,  Greenwich Village, NYC (212) 260-9797
I will be making one of my rare NYC appearances this Sunday afternoon.   This benefit for victims of hurricane Sandy features the elite of the New York & New Jersey blues scene.   There are 11 acts altogether, each doing a 20 minute set.   I will be appearing with Arthur Neilson at 5:40 & then again with VD King and Better Off Dead at 6:30. Likely VD will do an encore performance of his new tune “Sandy”. The suggested donation is $20 and all proceeds will go directly to the Red Cross.  So you can have fun and do good all at the same time.
http://www.redlionnyc.com
http://www.betteroffdead.com/home.htm/
http://www.arthurneilson.com/

Dec 8, Saturday, 7:00-9:00ish PM – David “Doc” French, Ruthie’s BBQ, 64 1/2 Chestnut Ave, Montclair  (973) 509-1134
Singer/guitarist David -“Doc’ – French just released his latest album and we’ll likely be doing some new tunes. David has some deep blues roots and really gets inside a song.   We’ll be joined by one of my favorite partners in musical crime, Carl Lorentzen on bass.
http://www.ruthiesbbq.com/

Dec 15, Saturday, 7:00-9:00ish PM – Nikki Armstrong, Ruthie’s BBQ, 64 1/2 Chestnut Ave, Montclair  (973) 509-1134
Nikki is one super versatile singer- she can belt out the blues, she can can rock n roll, or she can turn it around and do a sultry ballad.   As this is Ruthie’s, we will be leaning more on the blues side of things, but we’re gonna try to sneak in a few standards.  Last time in September we played out on the veranda.   Seeing that the weather is somewhat chillier this time of year, we’ll move indoors.  As always, Ruthie’s is BYOB.
http://www.ruthiesbbq.com/
http://www.myspace.com/nikkiarmstrongbands
http://www.nikkiarmstrong.com/

Dec 21, Friday, 10:00PM-1:00AM – Better Off Dead at The Great Notch Inn, Route 46, Little Falls  (973) 256-7742
I will close out my musical year close to home at one of my musical homes away from home with my homies.   Likely VD King will pull out his Christmas rock and roll repertoire. 
http://www.betteroffdead.com/home.htm/
http://www.agreatertown.com/little_falls_nj/great_notch_inn_new_jerseys_rockin_roadhouse_00089580

November 3, 2012:      Sandy (The Hurricane)

Pshew.

I hope all of you out there are doing OK.   We were super lucky.   An electrical transformer blew out in our back yard but it didn’t affect us, so aside from the minor inconveniences of streets being blocked off and long gas lines we’ve been fine.

I mourn for the Jersey Shore.   We’re beach people here in the Korn-Heilner household – we alternate between the Jersey Shore and Cape Cod.    I love the Jersey Shore for the boardwalks, the rides, the greasy fried food, and the honkey-tonk atmosphere.    I love Cape Cod for the sheer physical beauty.   But every time I step out onto a beach I say to myself,  “Enjoy it, this could be the last time”.    I’d like to be wrong, but I don’t see Jersey Shore coming back like it was.   There’s not much point since the next big storm will just wash it away again.

But enough of being a bummer. I know it’s short notice here, but…

=============================
Nov 3, Saturday, 7:00-9:00ish PM – Arne Englund, Ruthie’s BBQ, 64 1/2 Chestnut Ave, Montclair  (973) 509-1134
Arne Englund is a fine guitarist/singer who hails from western Jersey – and he waited a long time to fill up his gas tank in order to make the long trek over to the suburbs.    I was just out a little while ago and the gas lines are a lot shorter today, so if you’re an odd number there’s still plenty of time.   Arne is also without heat in his house, so please stop by and give him a warm welcome.
http://www.ruthiesbbq.com/

Nov 10, Saturday, 7:00-9:00ish PM – Andy Lackow, Ruthie’s BBQ, 64 1/2 Chestnut Ave, Montclair  (973) 509-1134
It’s back to back guitar duos at Ruthie’s.   Andy & I did a show over the summer with a full band.  It was great, but this night we’re gonna be inside as a duo making it up as we go along.
http://www.ruthiesbbq.com/

Nov 17 Saturday, 8-9:30 PM – Lunatic Fringe,  Tierney’s Tavern, 136-138 Valley Road, Montclair, NJ 07042   Reservations: (973) 429-1527
It’s a new venue for Lunatic Fringe, but an old one for this aging rock & roller.  Lunatic Fringe funny no matter where they are, but since Teirney’s serves alchohol things may get lively.   I ‘m not quite sure about the times for this show – it’s listed as 6:30 – 8:00 – but call ahead to make sure.   
http://www.lunaticfringeimprov.com
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=53938723078&ref=ts
http://www.tierneystavern.com/

Nov 30, Friday, 10:00PM-1:00AM – Better Off Dead at The Great Notch Inn, Route 46, Little Falls  (973) 256-7742
You will likely be out of Thanksgiving leftovers – but if you ask VD King to do the turkey dance he may oblige you.
http://www.betteroffdead.com/home.htm/
http://www.agreatertown.com/little_falls_nj/great_notch_inn_new_jerseys_rockin_roadhouse_00089580

October 6, 2012:      Florence Heilner – In memory

After a full life of almost 93 years, my mother Florence Heilner – or Grandma as she was know around our house  – died quietly in her sleep this Tuesday AM.   

In her 93 years, Florence packed in several lifetimes worth of living.   She grew up in Brooklyn during the worst of the depression, worked for the Army during WW II, had two children, then in her 40s she went back to college got a BA and a Master’s in Education and taught 4th grade in Rutherford NJ until she retired.   

She never quite caught up to the computer age.   “What’s this thing I keep reading about that they call a blog?”

Here’s my attempt to capture a lifetime in 3 images:

This is my Uncle Joe’s Bar Mitzvah in 1925.
Florence the little girl on the left.
She’s wearing a yellow dress made by her mother.
The girl on the right is my Aunt Selma.

In an unprecedented act of rebellion, she moved to California during WWII.
It was a three day bus trip back then.   This was taken in 1942.

She had a fierce love for her Grandkids.   This was taken in August.  
She’s trying (unsuccessfully) to get her youngest (lower left) to look at the camera.

Life will be a little more boring without her.  But the show (and life) goes on.

================================
October 7, Sunday, 3:00PM-6:00PM – Mostly Blues Jam Session at Hat City, Route 46, Little Falls  (973) 256-7742
Al Gold runs this most excellent jam session every other Sunday afternoon.  I’m subbing for his regular keyboard guy.    Hat City is clean, it has a great menu, and it’s Sunday afternoon – so those of you who usually fall asleep at 9:00 have no excuse not to come on out.
http://www.hatcitykitchen.com
http://www.myspace.com/algoldthesuburbanrhythmkings

October 13 Saturday, 8-9:30 PM – Lunatic Fringe,  Glen Ridge Community Center @ The Glen Ridge Train Station, 228 Ridgewood Avenue (corner of Bloomfield Avenue), Glen Ridge, NJ   Reservations: (973) 429-1527
It’s the start of a new season.   If you’re tired of laughing at the on-going soap opera of this year’s election, this will give you something else to laugh about.
http://www.lunaticfringeimprov.com
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=53938723078&ref=ts

October 19, Friday, 10:00PM-1:00AM – Better Off Dead at The Great Notch Inn, Route 46, Little Falls  (973) 256-7742
Yes it’s October 19th and we will be celebration the surrender of the British Army under the command of General Charles Lord Cornwallis surrendered to General George Washington at Yorktown, Virginia.  This was to be the last major battle of the American Revolutionary War.   You can ask the bartender for a hot toddy, but you’ll likely get a blank stare.
http://www.betteroffdead.com/home.htm/
http://www.agreatertown.com/little_falls_nj/great_notch_inn_new_jerseys_rockin_roadhouse_00089580

September 6, 2012:      Mozart

I’ve been on a Mozart kick for the last month.    Sorry Bach.   Sorry Chopin.  So sorry Beatles, and Meade Lux Lewis, and Otis Spann and all the other great music that inspires me.   This month, Mozart is the man.

This is likely a true story about Mozart.  I first heard it as a child, and you can now find it out on that interweb thing. The story goes like this:

Mozart was close friends with another great composer Hayden.   Hayden challenged Mozart to compose a piece of music which he (Hayden that is) could not play – at stake is a champagne supper.   Mozart goes into a corner and in 5 minutes whips out a piece of music.   Hayden sits down in front of the piano and starts playing.  It’s a simple piece of music but all of sudden in the middle of the piece Hayden is stuck.   The piece calls for three notes to be played.   Two of the notes are at opposite ends of the piano, while the third is directly in the middle.  If you play the notes at the opposite ends of the piano, no human being has hands big enough to stretch to the middle except Paul Bunyan.  Hayden shouts out “No one can play this piece, not even the composer”.   So.  Mozart sits down at the piano and starts playing.  When he gets to the impossible section he plays the two end notes with his hands.  And the note in the middle?  Mozart was endowed with a very large nose and – you guessed it – Mozart bends down to the keyboard plays the middle note with his nose.  Admidst laughter, Hayden acknowledges that nature had given Mozart a great gift.

I have never tried this particular trick, but come to a show and give me the challenge and maybe I’ll take you up. Just bring some tissues with you. 

======================
Sept 7, Friday, 7:00-9:00ish PM – Arne Englund, Ruthie’s BBQ, 64 1/2 Chestnut Ave, Montclair  (973) 509-1134
This is an encore performance from Arnie’s previous Ruthie’s show in July.   Arnie has put together a phenomenal rhythm section with Matt Patuto on drums and Phil Butler on bass.   With these two guys I could spit on the keyboard and I would sound great.   The weather is supposed to be cooperative tomorrow evening, but if if looks like rain call ahead to see what’s going on as we’re playing out on the patio  As always with Ruthie’s BYOB.
http://www.ruthiesbbq.com/
https://www.facebook.com/arne.englund.1

Sept 15, Saturday, 7:00-9:00ish PM – Nikki Armstrong, Ruthie’s BBQ, 64 1/2 Chestnut Ave, Montclair  (973) 509-1134
I’ve done many a show with Nikki over the years, but always with a full band.  This time around, Nikki & I will be going it alone.   Nikki is super versatile – she can belt out the blues, she can can rock n roll, or she can turn it around and do a sultry ballad.   As this is Ruthie’s, we will be leaning more on the blues side of things, but we’re gonna try to sneak in a few standards.  This is Nikki’s first time playing at Ruthie’s so come out and make her welcome.
http://www.ruthiesbbq.com/
http://www.myspace.com/nikkiarmstrongbands
http://www.nikkiarmstrong.com/

September 29, Saturday, 10:00PM-1:00AM – Better Off Dead at The Great Notch Inn, Route 46, Little Falls  (973) 256-7742
The boys are back in town for another chapter in the ongoing moveable feast.   How many metaphors can I mix in one sentence?
http://www.betteroffdead.com/home.htm/
http://www.agreatertown.com/little_falls_nj/great_notch_inn_new_jerseys_rockin_roadhouse_00089580

August 3, 2012:      Olympic Fever 

We have a severe outbreak of Olympic Fever here in the Korn-Heilner residence.   In particular, it has reached near epidemic proportions amongst the women in the house.   The symptoms include repeated verbal outbreaks of “oohs”, “ahhs”, and “holy crap, did you see that, that was amazing”.

Until this week I was unaware that there was such a sport as synchronized diving – in which not one, but two people attempt to simultaneously induce permanent brain damage.    Why they limit this sport to just two people at a time – I do not know.   Why not have four, ten, or maybe even a score of youthful athletic people gyrate and do contortions from 33 feet in the air before attempting to land in water – and for heaven’s sake, when you land in the water – do not splash or you lose points.

And don’t even mention the badminton scandal.   I was shocked, just shocked.

What I would like to see is an event where athletes have to cooperate with one another.   Pick athletes from random countries and make them accomplish some random activity like putting up a large tent or doing a jigsaw puzzle. Or solving world hunger.

Not that I begrudge these amazing athletes their moment in the sun.   But it’s pretty macabre that you can train for four years day and night, and then have it all come down to 2 seconds of activity – and if you make the slightest mistake you have to endure being interviewed by some clueless sports caster asking you “So how do you feel about blowing it in front of 500 million people”.

I’m glad that when folks come to one of my shows, they just come to enjoy themselves and they’re not keeping score.   But if you want to give me a medal for my playing, that’s OK too.   I’ll even settle for bronze.

==============================
August 4, Saturday, 7:00-9:00ish PM – Doc French, Ruthie’s BBQ, 64 1/2 Chestnut Ave, Montclair  (973) 509-1134
Dave ‘Doc’ French is a fine blues singer, guitarist & song writer who usually plays in New York with his group French Cooking.  Doc has this very laid back, subtle yet powerful style which sort of sneaks up on you and gets inside.  This Saturday, he’s coming out to the wilds of New Jersey and will be backed by Carl Lorentzen on bass and yours truly.   They’re calling for isolated thunder storms tomorrow night.   With any luck, these will miss Montclair and we will play out on the patio; but if it rains we’ll move indoors.   As always, Ruthie’s is BYO.
www.ruthiesbbq.com/
www.frenchcookin.com/

August 17, Friday, 7:00-9:00ish PM – Rob Signorile, Ruthie’s BBQ, 64 1/2 Chestnut Ave, Montclair  (973) 509-1134
Rob & I did some guitar piano duos over the winter.   This time around, Rob is putting together a smoking 5 piece band.   Check the weather on this one before coming out since we can’t all fit inside in case of rain.
www.ruthiesbbq.com/

August 17, Friday, 10:00PM-1:00AM – Better Off Dead at The Great Notch Inn, Route 46, Little Falls  (973) 256-7742
It’s a double header for me.   As soon as I’m done at Ruthie’s I’m packing up my gear, hustling across town, and doing the rock and roll thang.   Last time around, the miniscule “dance floor” at The Notch was packed.
http://www.betteroffdead.com/home.htm/
http://www.agreatertown.com/little_falls_nj/great_notch_inn_new_jerseys_rockin_roadhouse_00089580

August 18, Friday, 7:00-9:00ish PM – Andy Lackow, Ruthie’s BBQ, 64 1/2 Chestnut Ave, Montclair  (973) 509-1134
Completing this weekend trifecta, I’m back at Ruthie’s doing a duo thing with guitarist, singer Andy Lackow.   Andy is member of the small club of superb musicians who make up the North Jersey blues scene.  For this show, Eric Kaplan, Ruthie’s proprietor and big blues fan, played match maker.   But Andy’s got a few tricks up his sleeve – and it won’t be just the blues.
www.ruthiesbbq.com/