June 12, 2014:      Addicted to Seltzer

We are long time major league fans of seltzer here in the Korn-Heilner household.   For years we made weekly trudges over to Costco or A&P, lugged a case or two back home, and typically finished off the last bottle just after the next weekend.   We would then be seltzer deprived for a week or two until we could go back out, trudge over to Costco, etc, etc.

Then we discovered SodaStream.   In case you have not heard of these gadgets, basically it’s a simple device you put on your kitchen counter top.   You keep bottles of water in the fridge.  When you want seltzer you take a bottle out of the fridge, screw it into the machine, press a knob, some farting sounds come out of the machine, and — voila – you’ve got seltzer.   Not only that, but you can control the degree of fizziness.   I like my seltzer super extra fizzy.  

This is one of the great inventions of the 20th century.   It ranks up there with dental floss and open heart surgery.

There other big advantage of these gadgets is that now, instead of shlepping cases of bottles every week, you only have to replace a little CO2 canister every 5-6 weeks or so.     But last week, our canister (and our spare canister) both ran out; and neither Lisa or I could get out to the store to exchange our used canister for new ones.    3 bottles of nicely chilled water were patiently waiting in the fridge to be fizzed up, but we were out of gas.   The days dragged on and things got tense.   We made do with water, but once you’re addicted to seltzer, water just leaves you flat.   Finally, on Saturday I was able to run out and get new canisters.  I charged up an ice cold bottle, poured glasses for Lisa & me, and we sat out on the front porch and had a toast.   Cheers!  Skoal!   L’Chayyim!   To seltzer!  Or try any of these:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toast_%28honor%29#Worldwide

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June 14, Saturday, 8-9:30 PM – Lunatic Fringe,  Glen Ridge Community Center @ The Glen Ridge Train Station, 228 Ridgewood Avenue (corner of Bloomfield Avenue), Glen Ridge, NJ   Reservations: (973) 429-1527
This is the last show of the umpteenth season, your last chance to get a good laugh.   $10 in advance, $12 at the door.  BYO (whatever it is you wanna bring)  
http://www.lunaticfringeimprov.com
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=53938723078&ref=ts

June 15, Sunday, 3:00PM-4:30PM – Benefit for Walter Hudson at The Red Lion, 151 Bleeker St.,  Greenwich Village, NYC (212) 260-9797
I will be making one of my rare New York appearances this Sunday afternoon at The Red Lion in The Village.    This show is a benefit for Sonny Hudson – a long time member of the metropolitan blues scene – who is in need of support for medical needs.  I will be playing with three different bands.   At 3:00 it’s Better Off Dead, at 3:30 it’s the Vestapolitans, and at 4:00 I’m with Arthur Neilson.  There are some fine bands going on after 4:430, but I’ll be off to dinner with my family for Father’s Day.
http://www.redlionnyc.com
http://www.betteroffdead.com/home.htm
www.Vestapolitans.com
http://www.arthurneilson.com/

June 23, Monday , 8:00PM-11:00PM – Big Ed Sullivan Blues Jam at The Red Lion, 151 Bleeker St.,  Greenwich Village, NYC (212) 260-9797
A rare second New York appearance in one month.  I will be filling in for the regular keyboardist David Bennet Cohen at the Monday Night Jam at the Red Lion.  For those of you who are not familiar with the scene, at a blues jam different musicians get on & off during the course of the evening.  There will likely be other keyboard players there, so if you show up and you don’t see me on stage, it’s likely that I’m taking turns with the other keyboard players.   The Red Lion has an enormous selection of bottled beer and decent bar food – plus The Village is always fun on a summer night.
http://www.redlionnyc.comhttps://www.facebook.com/pages/Big-Ed-Sullivan/253831450378

June 27, Friday, 7:00PM-10:00PM – Shuffle, Jump, and Moan in Montville, NJ 
Well, this is embarrassing.  I started writing and realized that I don’t know exactly where it is or what time we go on.  It’s a town event and there will be a number of bands; Shuffle, Jump, and Moan will be doing a 50 minute set some time between 7 and 10.  If you’re in the vicinity of Montville and want to hear some great blues, let me know and I’ll get you the full details as soon as I know.   Is there an “embarrassed” emoticon in the house?

May 1, 2014:      And Stay Off My Lawn

I can tell you where Eric is *not*.   He is not out in the yard mowing the lawn, trimming the edges, or hacking dead branches off the shrubbery.  After years of half heartedly taking care of our front and back yards, Lisa & I have finally given up the fight and (queue in the Darth Vader theme music) hired a lawn service.   

Like many things in my life I feel somewhat ambivalent about this.  The part of me that wants to be self reliant & sufficient feels guilty about shirking my duty as a home owner.  However, when I come home after a 10 hour day at the office and I see the neatly mowed and trimmed front yard, my whole body just goes “aaahhhh”.

Likely some of you have your sarcasm detectors on.   I can just hear you.  “Oh, poor, poor Eric.  He can afford to hire a lawn service and he feels guilty.  The poor dear liberal lad.  Cry me a river”   To which I reply, “Guilty as charged.”

And speaking of taking care of your house, we have an old model snow blower which has seen better days and we’re getting rid of it.   It will need work.  It runs for maybe 5-10 minutes and then it stalls out.  If anyone out there is handy with machines or is willing to go to the effort of getting it fixed, it’s yours for $50 – or make me an offer I can’t refuse.

Meanwhile, after a quiet April I’ve got a busy month ahead…

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May 3, Saturday, 10:00PM-1:00AM – Better Off Dead at The Great Notch Inn, Route 46, Little Falls  (973) 256-7742
There’s a chance of showers this Saturday, so the parking lot may be bereft of hogs, but the music inside will be honking good.
http://www.betteroffdead.com/home.htm
http://www.agreatertown.com/little_falls_nj/great_notch_inn_new_jerseys_rockin_roadhouse_00089580

May 9, Friday, 7:00-9:00ish PM – Better Off Dead, Ruthie’s BBQ, 64 1/2 Chestnut Ave, Montclair  (973) 509-1134
We’re having a mini Better Off Dead road tour this month.  It will be the same music as last Saturday only in a much more mellow setting.   If the weather is good we’ll be out on the veranda with the full band, otherwise we’ll have to squeeze inside sans drums.   As always, BYO at Ruthie’s and be patient when ordering food – it’s worth the wait.
http://www.ruthiesbbq.com/

May 10, Saturday, 8:00PM-9:30PM – Shuffle, Jump, and Moan at Hat City, 459 Valley Street,  City of Orange, NJ 07050 (862) 252-9147
It’s a busy weekend for me.   SJ&M has been having a great run at Hat City, this is our 3rd (or maybe 4th or 5th – I’ve lost count) appearance at Hat City.  If you want to sit and have dinner, I strongly recommend making reservations and showing up a early, the last show was sold out.  If you don’t want todo dinner, there’s always room at the bar.  The food is excellent, I’ve been there on off nights just for dinner.  I believe there’s a $10 cover charge.
http://www.hatcitykitchen.com

May 21, Wednesday, 8:00PM-11:00PM – with Rob Signorile at The Box Car, 25 Chatham Rd,  Short Hills, NJ 07078 (862) 912-0002
This is a new venue for Rob & I – and a rare mid-week show as well.  The Box Car is located in the Short Hills train station (hence the name) – and given that this is Short Hills it’s likely to be, umm, refined.  Rob & I will do our best to shake things up a bit.
http://www.boxcarbar.com/

May 30, Friday, 7:00-9:00ish PM – with Arne Englund Band, Ruthie’s BBQ, 64 1/2 Chestnut Ave, Montclair  (973) 509-1134
And rounding out the month I’ll be back at my favorite neighborhood BBQ joint with the Arne Englund Band.   It’s been far too long since Arne & I shared the veranda together – I’m looking forward to a great night of rockin’ blues.
http://www.ruthiesbbq.com/

April 7, 2014:      Is winter finally gone?

Yes, winter has been a mite unpleasant this year, but things are starting to mellow out.   I’m cautiously optimistic.  I put the snow shovels back in the basement along with the car ice scraper and the remaining salt.   

We’ll see. 

The Bible has some good things to say about spring.  Here’s a bit from that soft core Song of Solomon:

2:10 My beloved spake, and said unto me, Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away.
2:11 For, lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone;
2:12 The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land;

Usually I find those turtle voices annoying.  They wake me up in the morning when I’m trying to sleep late.   They jabber on, gossiping about the turtles over on the next block.   But right now, I welcome them.   

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This month I’m taking a break for some Eric time.  There’s one very neat event at the end of the month.  

Apr 27, Sunday, 3:00PM-7:00PM – Better Off Dead at Rock The Reservoir, The Lincoln Inn, 13 Lincoln St, Jersey City  (201) 659-8686
This is a fund raiser for the Jersey City Reservoir Preservation Alliance.  I don’t know when Better Off Dead  is going on, but there are 5  (count ’em) 5 bands playing, so you can’t go wrong no matter when you show up.   Tickets are $35 in advance, $40 at the door.  Kids under 12 are free.
http://www.betteroffdead.com/home.htm
http://www.jcreservoir.org

March 7, 2014:      Peter Seegar

The recent passing of Pete Seeger triggered off some deep memories.   While I avoid politics in these little ramblings, it should be no great surprise to anyone who has been following along that I come from a long line of left wingers,  radicals, and fellow travelers – including my dad Irwin Heilner.  Irwin was a life long rebel.   He was a classically trained composer and was friendly with (among others) Aaron Copeland back in the 30s.   After WWII he went to Juilliard and studied composition, but dropped out because he refused to compose the type of atonal music that was required at the time.   At one point (I am told) he considered joining the Communist Party, but the Party also wanted him to compose a particular type of music.   Seeing as how he had dropped out of the almighty Juilliard rather than do what they wanted, he would be damned if he would do what some petty politicos wanted.  

So he went his own way and eventually made a living as a librarian, however he never stopped composing in his spare time.  In the late 1950s and early 60s he branched out from classical instrumental music, taught himself guitar, and started writing what you could very loosely call folk music – although harmonically and melodically his music was not folk music in the traditional sense.   From his left wing associations, he got some of his pieces published in Broadside Magazine which (among others) published Bob Dylan’s very early pieces.   If you’re curious, they’re now posting back issues of Broadside at http://singout.org/broadside.   Anyway, while never famous, Irwin was on familiar terms with many of the folk legends from that time.   I’ve attached a private tape of Pete singing one of Irwin’s more accessible numbers  – a protest song called A Letter from the Draft Board.  The lyrics are by Irwin’s life long friend and collaborator, the poet Aaron Kramer.     I hope you enjoy it.    

BTW – if you’ve never heard Pete Seeger coughing in the middle of a song, this may be your only opportunity. 

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This Saturday I am doing another one of these wacky  “double headers”.  I start off by setting up most of my equipment at The Great Notch Inn.  I then hustle over to Glen Ridge:
Mar 8, Saturday, 8-9:30 PM – Lunatic Fringe,  Glen Ridge Community Center @ The Glen Ridge Train Station, 228 Ridgewood Avenue (corner of Bloomfield Avenue), Glen Ridge, NJ   Reservations: (973) 429-1527
Sometimes I am laughing so hard I forget that I am on stage.   Then the director, Deb, whispers over to me, “Eric, Eric!  Music!”.  
http://www.lunaticfringeimprov.com
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=53938723078&ref=ts
I then pack up my piano, scoot down Bloomfield Ave onto the Parkway North over to 3 West over to 46 to:

Mar 8, Saturday, 10:00PM-1:00AM – Better Off Dead at The Great Notch Inn, Route 46, Little Falls  (973) 256-7742
The weather is looking good for this weekend and the bikers may be out, but they are very mellow bikers.  VD has a few new tunes in his hip pocket.  I believe he also keeps his tunes in his front pockets, back pockets, and his hot pockets.
http://www.betteroffdead.com/home.htm
http://www.agreatertown.com/little_falls_nj/great_notch_inn_new_jerseys_rockin_roadhouse_00089580

March 21, Friday, 6:30->?? – Jump, Shuffle, and Moan at Centenary Blues Bash 2014,  Lackland Center, Hackettstown, NJ 07840 (908) 979-0900
This is the opening night of a two day blues festival.   Jump, Shuffle, and Moan will be playing on a real stage in a real theater and you will need to purchase actual tickets.   In exchange for purchasing said tickets, you will get to sit in a comfortable seat in a real auditorium.    We’re opening up for Samantha Fish who is tearing up the blues circuit.  I don’t know what time we actually go on (I believe there’s an act going on before us).  Tickets are $20 in advance, $25 at the door.
http://www.centenarystageco.org/05SpecialPrograms/MiniBluesFestival/index.asp

March 22, Saturday, 7-9:30ish PM – Eric Heilner,  Raffle/Fund Raiser for Playhouse, 88 Franklin Ave, W. Orange, NJ 07052 (973) 736-9451 
Many moons ago my kids went to Playhouse Nursery School.  In one of those coincidences of life, my wife Lisa is now a director at said same school.   This is their annual fund raiser.  There will be raffles, silent auctions for various goodies, food, and entertainment by yours truly.  Come on down and maybe you’ll win a prize or two while donating to a worthy cause.   I will be playing piano from roughly 7 to 9:30 or so.  And afterwards, you can go across the street and have a drink at The Franklin Tavern.
http://www.playhouseonline.org/

February 8, 2014:      25 Years

All of us are where we are through one series of coincidences after another.   I’m not making any deep philosophical statement here, I’m just noticing the fact.   The reason I bring this up is that Lisa & I just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary – and our meeting each was one of those coincidences.   Here’s how it happened:

I was looking for a mate.  Not a roommate mind you, a mate.   So was Lisa.    25 years ago there was no internet, so one way you looked for a mate was though this archaic mechanism called the print media.  You would submit your “mate request” to some magazine (you would have to pay a fee), they would print your ad in the back of their magazine, if someone liked your ad they would (gasp!) have to write a letter and send it though the US Postal Service to the magazine.  The magazine would take that letter and forward it to you.  Likely you had a post office box, so your prying roommate would not notice.

So I submitted my “mate request” to the New York magazine – I was living in Manhattan at the time.    Lisa was vacationing with her sister, brother in law, and new nephew (that’s Susan, Tim, and Gideon) on Nantucket.   Susan saw my ad and convinced Lisa to send me a letter.   Now (taking a slight step back here) I had already put in several ads and had met a number of women, but nothing had yet clicked.  Lisa had also met several men through the classifieds – also with no luck.  

Anyway, I liked Lisa’s letter. I called her, we talked for a while, and we agreed to meet at Elephant & Castle in The Village for brunch.  This was a little adventuresome for Lisa since she was living in Montclair and did not come into the city all that often.   So we met and talked for a bit, and after 10 minutes or so I said to myself, “Yeah, I could marry her”.    

If I recollect correctly (and Lisa will most definitely correct me if I’m wrong) that was Sept 26, 1987.    We were married Feb 5, 1989.   I’ve attached a pic of the happy couple who are still in love after 25 years. 

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Feb 8, Saturday, 8-9:30 PM – Lunatic Fringe,  Glen Ridge Community Center @ The Glen Ridge Train Station, 228 Ridgewood Avenue (corner of Bloomfield Avenue), Glen Ridge, NJ   Reservations: (973) 429-1527
Yes it’s cold outside.  Yes it’s gonna be a pain parking in the snow and ice.  But I am not accepting these feeble excuses – you need a good laugh.   If you can’t take the cold, get out of New Jersey.
http://www.lunaticfringeimprov.com
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=53938723078&ref=ts

Feb 22, Saturday, 8:00PM-9:30PM – Jump, Shuffle, and Moan at Hat City, 459 Valley Street,  City of Orange, NJ 07050 (862) 252-9147
We got snowed out in December, but there’s no stopping us this time (unless there’s anther blizzard in this endless winter)  My buddy Rob Signorile fronts this tight blues ensemble.   Hat City is clean, it has a good sound system, and it has excellent New Orleans style food.   
http://www.hatcitykitchen.com

January 16, 2014:      I Am One Lucky SOB.

I wake up in the morning and the first thing is I think to myself is “Wow, I am so lucky”.    Yeah, yeah, OK, OK.   That’s not quite the first thing.  The first thing that comes to my mind is “Huh?”  or “What the hell is that damn buzzing noise”.   Then I realize who and where I am and I hit the snooze button, and then I think, “I am one lucky SOB”.  I have a great life.  I have a wonderful wife and two great (most of the time) kids, I got a decent job & a nice comfortable house, a little money in the bank, and my health.  I live in a first world country so I don’t have to worry about my life being ruined by a crazed dictator; and I live a of incredible comfort that would have been unimaginable to someone living 200 years ago.  

In fact, I have a more luxurious  existence than the richest person in the world did 200 years ago.  My house, cars, and workplace are all at a reasonably comfortable temperature (although my wife & daughter would prefer that I keep the thermostat a few degrees hotter.)   I never have to worry about going hungry.   We have modern medicine to keep us alive and to patch us up when bad things happen.  If I want to visit California, I can go down to the airport, get in this funny looking contraption they call a plane, sit in a seat, get magically transported through the air, and 6 hours later I am in California.   Yeah, the seat may be a little cramped and I may have to put up with some minor indignities; but 200 years ago the trip would have taken me two months by ship and my life would be at risk much of the time. Even 100 years ago it would have taken me weeks on a cramped smelly train.  I can’t figure out why people complain about air travel.

I sometimes try to imagine what my life would be like if I were born in another place or time.   If I were born 200 years ago, I likely would have died from some childhood ailment.  What about if I were born in this century in another country?  Hmm.  If I were born in Germany in 1920, I would certainly have not lived a long or prosperous life.   If I were living in Syria or North Korea or any of hundreds of trouble areas around the world today I likely would not have a very happy existence.  

What if I were born in another first world country, say Sweden, or Japan (post WW II Japan that is), or New Zealand?   My life would likely be fine, but it would be much different.  In particular, would there be an equivalent to the rich and varied musical community that I enjoy here in the metropolitan area?    Unlikely.

I am one lucky SOB.

BTW – to those of you who inquired or made wisecracks about it, the results from my, umm, procedure last month were fine.

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Jan 17, Friday, 9:30ishPM-11:00PM – Better Off Dead at Hat City, 459 Valley Street,  City of Orange, NJ 07050 (862) 252-9147
This is gonna be a fun filled night.  There is a $10 cover charge, but if you show up at 8:00 you get to see Enzo & The Bakers, one of my favorite local groups.  Then, for no additional charge, after some equipment shuffling, you get to see VD King and Better off Dead.  Hat City is clean, it has a good sound system, and it has excellent New Orleans style food.
http://www.hatcitykitchen.comhttp://www.betteroffdead.com/home.htm

Jan 18, Saturday, 8-9:30 PM – Lunatic Fringe,  Glen Ridge Community Center @ The Glen Ridge Train Station, 228 Ridgewood Avenue (corner of Bloomfield Avenue), Glen Ridge, NJ   Reservations: (973) 429-1527
Jan 18 is going to be an interesting evening for me because, through no fault of my own, I am double booked.  So from 8:00- 9:30ish, I will performing in the first 2014 Lunatic Fringe show, yeah baby.
http://www.lunaticfringeimprov.com
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=53938723078&ref=ts
And then, like some crazed person, I am going to streak through the streets of Glen Ridge and Montclair (but within state and local traffic regulations) over to the Great Notch Inn. I could use a motorcycle escort this evening, but somehow I will manage without one.  

Jan 18, Saturday, 10:00PM-1:00AM – Better Off Dead at The Great Notch Inn, Route 46, Little Falls  (973) 256-7742
Once I arrive at the Great Notch, I will then, quick like a bunny, set up my equipment and rock and roll the night away.
http://www.betteroffdead.com/home.htm
http://www.agreatertown.com/little_falls_nj/great_notch_inn_new_jerseys_rockin_roadhouse_00089580

Jan 31, Friday, 7:00-9:00ish PM – Rob Signorile, Ruthie’s BBQ, 64 1/2 Chestnut Ave, Montclair  (973) 509-1134
This will be a slightly more relaxed evening for me after all that running around.  Rob & I will wile away the hours playing whatever tunes tickle our collective fancies.  Ruthie’s.  Great food, BYO, no cover.   BTW, I know some folks have very strong opinions on this topic and think that hours should be “whiled” instead of “wiled”, but you’re just gonna have to deal with it – I ain’t changing my mind. 
http://www.ruthiesbbq.com/