October 17, 2015:      The Persistence of Memory

Or in my case, the lack thereof.    Case in point:  

The other week I was on the train to work and I had a great idea for this month’s ‘Where is Eric’.   It was a really great idea – in fact it could have been a two parter.   I got home from work and went to write it down and. . .   Dang it, what was that idea?   I’ve been wracking my brain trying to remember what it was – all to no avail.

This is not a new phenomena for me.   I’ve always had a very selective memory.   Tell me a phone number and 15 seconds later, unless I’m really, really, concentrating and repeating it over in my mind?  It’s gone.  People’s names/faces?   I’m terrible at it.   When I meet someone for the first time?  I have my standard routine – I immediately apologize that the next time I see them I likely won’t remember who they are.   It used to embarrass me.  I’d bump into someone in the super market or the dry cleaners and they’ll say “Hi Eric!” – and I’ll go “Hey, how’s it going” – and hope that they’ll give some conversational hint that will jog my memory.  I’m not embarrassed anymore, I just apologize and ask them who they are.

Other stuff comes easy to me.   The computer programs I work on at my day job?  250 thousand lines of code, no problem.  Chord changes to Beatles songs?  No problem.   Piano music?   I can hear many Mozart Piano Sonatas in my mind.  Hey, I’m gonna listen right now.  First movement to Sonata #5 in G – I’ll be right back. . . . .    Ah, that was good, wasn’t it?

Now what was that idea I had?   Damn.

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Oct 17th, Saturday, 8-9:30 PM – Lunatic Fringe,  Glen Ridge Community Center @ The Glen Ridge Train Station, 228 Ridgewood Avenue (corner of Bloomfield Avenue), Glen Ridge, NJ   Reservations: (973) 429-1527
The first show of the new season.   There’s lots of stuff to laugh at out there.  Tickets: $12 at the door; $10 with a reservation
http://www.lunaticfringeimprov.com
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=53938723078&ref=ts

Oct 24th, Saturday, 8:00PM-10:30 – Shuffle, Jump, and Moan at Hat City, 459 Valley Street,  City of Orange, NJ 07050 (862) 252-9147I got Fern & Bill’s wedding to go to just before this show, then I drive over (always staying within the speed limit), jump on stage, and voila!   The level of playing at last month’s show was really exceptional.   All tables at the last few shows were sold out.   Yes, you can always hang out at the bar, but if you want a table, you should make a reservation.   Hat City is clean, it has a good sound system, and it has excellent New Orleans style food.   I believe there’s a cover charge of $10, but call ahead to confirm.
http://www.hatcitykitchen.com 
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Shuffle-Jump-Moan/379081422265206?fref=ts

Oct 31st, Saturday, 9:00PM-1:00ish – Better Off Dead at The Great Notch Inn, Route 46, Little Falls  (973) 256-7742Yes, Halloween Night at ‘Da Notch’   Yes there will be outlandish costumes   Yes, there will be alcohol (but not to excess).  Yes, there will be much noise making and merriment.  Will you be there?  Yes?http://www.betteroffdead.com/home.htm
http://www.agreatertown.com/little_falls_nj/great_notch_inn_new_jerseys_rockin_roadhouse_00089580
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Great-Notch-Inn/45741843010?fref=ts

September 4, 2015:      To Autumn

William Blake (from Poetical Sketches, 1783)

O Autumn, laden with fruit, and stain’d
With the blood of the grape, pass not, but sit
Beneath my shady roof; there thou may’st rest,
And tune thy jolly voice to my fresh pipe,
And all the daughters of the year shall dance!
Sing now the lusty song of fruits and flowers.

“The narrow bud opens her beauties to
The sun, and love runs in her thrilling veins;
Blossoms hang round the brows of Morning, and
Flourish down the bright cheek of modest Eve,
Till clust’ring Summer breaks forth into singing,
And feather’d clouds strew flowers round her head.

“The spirits of the air live in the smells
Of fruit; and Joy, with pinions light, roves round
The gardens, or sits singing in the trees.”
Thus sang the jolly Autumn as he sat,
Then rose, girded himself, and o’er the bleak
Hills fled from our sight; but left his golden load.

You go Bill! Sing that lusty song of fruits and flowers!  I’ll play the piano while you sing and maybe do some backup harmonies.  Just make sure not to step in that golden load on the way out, it might be messy.

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September 5, Saturday, 7:00-9:00ish PM – Shuffle, Jump, and Moan, Ruthie’s BBQ, 64 1/2 Chestnut Ave, Montclair  (973) 509-1134
The weather report is calling for clear skies, and Shuffle, Jump, and Moan will be out on the veranda sending music out clear over the Montclair rooftops.   BYO and chow down on Eric Kaplan’s great BBQ.
http://www.ruthiesbbq.com/
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Shuffle-Jump-Moan/379081422265206?fref=ts

September 12, Saturday, 4:30PM-6:00ish – Arne Englund, Shakedown by the River @ Delaware Water Gap Performing Arts Center, 18 Old Mine Rd, Layton, NJ 07851 (973) 509-1134
This is a 3 day festival (Fri->Sun) out by “The Gap” – that’s the Delaware Water Gap not the store.   If you are into the outdoor life, there are camp grounds available.   I’ll be playing with Arne Englund mid-stream Saturday afternoon – 3rd of 5 bands.   There is an admission charge of $25 for one day – but you get 5 bands with that.  You can check out the web site for more info and for advanced admissions.
https://www.facebook.com/arneenglundbandhttp://www.dwgpac.org/

September 25, Friday, 8:00 PM-11ish – Shuffle, Jump, and Moan at Maxfields on Main, 713 Main Street, Boonton, New Jersey 07005  973-588-4450
Yeah, yeah, it’s my birthday and I’ll cry if I want to, but I’d much rather have a good time making great music.  If you haven’t been out to Maxfield’s, it’s worth the trip.  Good vibes, good food.
http://www.maxfieldsonmain.com/
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Shuffle-Jump-Moan/379081422265206?fref=ts

July 30, 2015:      Things I Will Never Know or Get

What is the meaning of life?
Who let the dogs out?
What is it with women and shoes?

Yeah.  What is it with woman and shoes?  I just don’t get it.  I don’t even like wearing shoes in the first place, I much prefer bare feet.  Shoes are one of these annoying things you just have to endure for the greater good.  I leave for work in the AM and the last thing I do is put on shoes.  As soon as I get home from work I take them off.  Bare feet again.  Ahhh!  That’s much better.  

Sneakers are OK.  They’re reasonably comfortable.   Maybe moccasins in a pinch if I’m going down to the basement to do the laundry.

This attitude of mine leaves my fashion consultants – which is to say my wife, Lisa and my daughter, Hannah – very frustrated.   They are constantly on the lookout for more fashionable footwear for me.   I think they’ve more or less given up on daily footwear, but they keep looking for something cool for me to wear on stage.  I’m fine with this.   My only criteria is that they have to be comfortable, but it seems like fashion and comfort do not get along well with each other.  They occasionally go out on dates, but they keep breaking up.   

All of this is further complicated by the fact that, in yet another indignity of old age, I now wear orthotics – which are expensive custom made Dr. Sholl’s – and any footwear has to accommodate the inserts.

The search for cool footwear has been going on for quite a while now.  So in a somewhat surprising turn of events, last month we actually stumbled across sort of a compromise which works for my fashion consultants and is comfortable enough for me to wear to gigs.  

Here.  Take a look.  

What do you think?   You’ve heard of selfies?   I’m starting a new trend here.  Footsies.

And this isn’t all.  With my new found cool shoes, my fashion consultants have deemed I can drop the white shirt and skinny black tie (if I want) and go back to black pants & t-shirt.   Which will be a good thing, seeing as I’m playing at the Great Notch Inn this Saturday and it’s supposed to be in the 90s and the AC in  “Da Notch” is, umm, somewhat inadequate.

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August 1st, Saturday, 9:00PM-1:00ish – Better Off Dead at The Great Notch Inn, Route 46, Little Falls  (973) 256-7742The forecast is 0% chance of rain so the bikes will be out in force.   It’ll be a hot night out on Route 46, so bring extra deodorant and (like the ad says) be thirsty my friend.  Vrooom.  
http://www.betteroffdead.com/home.htm
http://www.agreatertown.com/little_falls_nj/great_notch_inn_new_jerseys_rockin_roadhouse_00089580
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Great-Notch-Inn/45741843010?fref=ts

August 22st, Saturday, 7:00PM-9:00ish – Arne Englund, Ruthie’s BBQ, 64 1/2 Chestnut Ave, Montclair  (973) 509-1134
It’s Ruthie’s in August and I’ll be playing with Arne Englund.  I’ve missed playing with Arne, he’s a walking encyclopedia of blues history, a great guitar player, a singer of passion and authenticity, and he always pulls together a great rhythm section.   As always, BYO at Ruthie’s and be patient when ordering food – it’s worth the wait.
https://www.facebook.com/arneenglundbandhttp://www.ruthiesbbq.com/

June 5, 2015:      Whodunnit?

Was it the Col. Mustard in the Kitchen with the Candlestick?   Maybe Professor Plum with the Horseshoe in the Dining Room?   Maybe the sultry and beautiful actress Ms.  Scarlet in the Basement with the dreaded Lead Pipe?

I’ll never tell.

Here in the Korn-Heilner household we’ve turned into big fans of various British (and Australian) murder mysteries that are showing on one of our local  Public Television Channels.   One of these – Rosemary and Thyme – involves two woman landscapers who traipse about the English countryside doing landscaping work at various fancy estates.  For some inexplicable reason, everywhere they go someone ends up being murdered, and somehow they always end up solving the mystery – often by using their knowledge of shrubbery.   Sometimes their very lives are in danger.   And yet – at the end of each episode – after various people (some whom they know quite well) end up being killed in some gruesome fashion – at the end of each episode?  Rosemary & Thyme are seen laughing gaily over a bottle of wine as if it were a big joke.

Speaking of murder mysteries – I always wondered about this.  Take Murder She Wrote (that great Angela Lansbury show).  Everywhere this woman goes someone ends up being murdered.   That was 264 episodes (yes I looked it up).  You would think that after a while, people would avoid being anywhere within 100 miles of her..   “No!  Jessica Fletcher is in town!  Let’s get the hell out of here, someone is gonna be murdered, I don’t want it to be me!”

Getting back to Rosemary & Thyme.    This gave me an idea for  a new hit TV series.  You could do an American spin off, sort of like what they did with The Office.  You would still have two gardeners, only they wold be illegal immigrants. Not only can they not take credit for solving the murders, they have to avoid being caught by the authorities and sent back to, well, wherever.  All sorts of interesting plot complications ensue.

My big shot brother-in-law movie lawyer/producer thinks it’s a good idea, so you better move fast on this.    No need to thank me.   I’m not even asking for $$.  But if you could manage to get an “Inspired by Eric Heilner” in the credits it would be nice. 

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June  7, Sunday, 3:00PM-4:00 – Carlos Colina and Straight Up, Fort Lee Arts & Music Festival, Lemoine Avenue between Main St. and Bruce Reynolds Blvd, Fort Lee, New Jersey 201-693-2763
These are my kind of guys, a bunch of aging grey beards who still kick out the jams.   To give them credit, they’ve got a few years to go before they catch up to me in the aging department.  But the energy level that these guys put out would put a bunch of these wimpy 20 year olds to shame.  The weather is supposed to be good this Sunday, but as this is an outdoor festival, double check the weather forecast before coming out.   Fort Lee is in the shadow of the GW Bridge, so bring your own Chris Christie bridge jokes with you as well.
http://www.fortleenj.org/http://www.ccblues.com/

June 13, Saturday, 7:00PM-9:00ish – Better Off Dead, Ruthie’s BBQ, 64 1/2 Chestnut Ave, Montclair  (973) 509-1134
If the weather is good we’ll be out on the veranda, otherwise there will be a sight to behold inside with 5 musicians crammed into the little corner at Ruthie’s – we did it last time, but I was very tightly wedged in.  As always, BYO at Ruthie’s and be patient when ordering food – it’s worth the wait.
http://www.betteroffdead.com/home.htm
http://www.ruthiesbbq.com/

June 27, Saturday, 9:00PM-12:00 – Better Off Dead, The Lincoln Inn, 13 Lincoln St, Jersey City  (201) 659-8686
If there are any songs that we did not get right two weeks ago (or did not play), then please let us know and we will do our best to make amends.  Christine Santelli has done yeoman’s work to make Lincoln Inn a new home for the North Jersey blues scene.   There’s now a jam session on Thursday Night.   Lincoln Inn is in the heart of Jersey City Heights, it’s comfortable, and while the menu is small the food is good.
http://www.betteroffdead.com/home.htm/
http://thelincolninnjc.com/
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Lincoln-Inn-Bar-Grill/864413516925247

April 3, 2015:      On the Advantages of an Unusual Name

And I take one small step into the 21st century

Eric Heilner is a very rare name.   This is actually a pretty good thing.   If you have a less common name – say Bob Ferrante (my supervisor at my day job) and you google Bob Ferrante?   The first thing that comes up is a doctor out in Pittsburg who poisoned his wife.    Sorry ‘bout that Bob – I hope this won’t affect my yearly performance review.    If you google my buddy Kevin Kiley (amazing vocalist and band leader) the first thing that comes up is the 41st Surgeon General of the US Army – who unfortunately had to retire due to a scandal.   Please forgive me Kevin – you’ll still gig with me, yes?  

I could go on, but I think I’ve annoyed enough of my friends for one e-mail.

But meanwhile… Eric Heilner?    Pretty rare.   But so what? (I hear you say.)   Why is that a good thing?    Here’s the other part of the story. For years now I’ve been thinking that I should get a web site, but along with many other things I kept putting it off.   A few months ago I got a friend request on Facebook  (that great black hole of wasting time)  from a certain Erik Heilner.  A slight difference of spelling, but pretty darn close.   Did I accept the request?   Nah.  It was some young guy from Minnesota who I have nothing in common with other than a shared name.   But this did give me a kick in the butt.   Eric, you  better get a web site before someone else claims it.  With the assistance of the very patient and knowledgable Carl Lorentzen (fellow “ass kicker” in Arthur Neilson’s band) I am now the proud owner of (drum roll please) www.ericheilner.com.  

At first it felt very strange to go on the computer and see my face plastered all over the place, but I can report that I’ve adjusted quite nicely and now I just ignore it.   And now if you google me (and yes I had to self google to confirm) you will pretty much see nothing but stuff about me with ericheilner.com near the top of the list.   I’ve been lucky, so far there are no other Eric Heilners who have besmirched my good name.

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April 4, Saturday, 8:00PM-10:30 – Shuffle, Jump, and Moan at Hat City, 459 Valley Street,  City of Orange, NJ 07050 (862) 252-9147The last few shows here have been sold out.   Yes, you can always hang out at the bar, but if you want a table, you should make a reservation.   At our last gig, Rich brought his flute for the first time. -I tried to get him to stand on one leg to no avail.   Hat City is clean, it has a good sound system, and it has excellent New Orleans style food.   I believe there’s a cover charge of $10, but call ahead to confirm.
http://www.hatcitykitchen.com 
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Shuffle-Jump-Moan/379081422265206?fref=ts


April 11, Saturday, 8:00PM-9:30 – Lunatic Fringe,  Glen Ridge Community Center @ The Glen Ridge Train Station, 228 Ridgewood Avenue (corner of Bloomfield Avenue), Glen Ridge, NJ   Reservations: (973) 429-1527
Lunatic Fringe is going stag for this show, as director Deb is in another show this month.   These actors are so fickle – unlike us musicians who would never think of backing out of a gig and going with a better opportunity that offered much more money and exposure.
http://www.lunaticfringeimprov.com
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=53938723078&ref=ts

April  16, Thursday, 7:00PM-11:30ish – Joe Taino, B.B. King Blues Club & Grill, 237 West 42 St (212) 997-4144 
 If there were any justice in this world, Joe Taino would be world famous.   In a world where good guitar players are a dime a dozen, Joe stands out.  I first met Joe years ago at the legendary Saturday afternoon Scotland Yard blues blues jam.  I was blown away by his total mastery of the blues guitar – but Joe is no mere blues player.  His range is extraordinary going from Latin through jazz through every rock style imaginable. Meanwhile, BB King’s is a great room to play in – you meet people from all over the world.   Note that there are two rooms at BB King’s; we will be playing in Lucille’s Lounge, which is off to the left as you go down the staircase.   (I think Tower of Power is playing in the main room.)  There is no cover charge but there may be some minimum to sit at a table.  The food is decent but just a little on the pricey side (this is in Time Square after all); however you can also hang out at the bar and stay for the price of a beer or soda. 
https://www.facebook.com/joetaino1?fref=ts
http://www.bbkingblues.com/index.php

April 25, Saturday, 9:00PM-12:00 – Arthur Neilson and his Kick Ass Band, The Lincoln Inn, 13 Lincoln St, Jersey City  (201) 659-8686
And speaking of superb guitar players. . .   I have exhausted my supply of superlative adjectives.  I first met Arthur in pretty much the same manner I met Joe Taino – only it was the legendary Monday night Scotland Yard blues blues jam (not the Saturday afternoon etc etc).  I was lucky to be in the right place at the right time, because Arthur’s regular keyboard player had moved to Europe.   I think this was 2008?   Arthur invited me to play with him and it’s been a great ride ever since.  The Lincoln Inn has turned into the new “go to” place for North Jersey blues folks.  It’s in the heart of Jersey City Heights, it’s comfortable, and while the menu is small, the food is good.
http://www.arthurneilson.com/
http://thelincolninnjc.com/
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Lincoln-Inn-Bar-Grill/864413516925247

February 24, 2015:      In Memory of – Cousin Phyllis

Our beloved cousin Phyllis died last month.   It was not unexpected – she had been struggling with cancer for two years – but when we got the call it was still sooner than we thought.   Phyllis was one of those people that everyone loved –   she was outgoing, sweet natured, an energizer bunny, and had an enormous circle of close friends.    She was my second sister and an aunt to my kids.      She packed a lot of living into her too short 64 years.   I was looking forward to hanging out with her in our senior years, reminiscing about the family.   There is so much more I could say, but I’ll leave it that I really, really miss her.

Damn.

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Apologies for being a bummer.   Meanwhile, the show goes on.   Here’s where I’ll be Feb & March.

Feb 27, Friday, 7:00-9:00 PM – With Arthur Neilson,  at Ruthie’s Bar-B-Q & Pizza, 64 1/2 Chestnut Ave, Montclair  (973) 509-1134
Many a moon has passed since the last time I played at Ruthie’s, so I’m looking forward to doing a guitar-piano duo with the amazing Arthur Neilson.   In the absence of Arthur’s full “kick ass” band, Arthur & I will have to suffice with kicking only one butt cheek.
http://www.ruthiesbbq.com/
http://www.arthurneilson.com/

March 14, Saturday, 8-9:30 PM – Lunatic Fringe,  Glen Ridge Community Center @ The Glen Ridge Train Station, 228 Ridgewood Avenue (corner of Bloomfield Avenue), Glen Ridge, NJ   Reservations: (973) 429-1527
Laugh it up fuzz ball.  And then make good use of that fuzz to keep warm in this deep freeze of a winter we’re having.
http://www.lunaticfringeimprov.com
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=53938723078&ref=ts

March 21, Saturday, 7-9ish PM – Eric Heilner,  Raffle/Fund Raiser for Playhouse, Van Vleck Estate, 21 Van Vleck St., Montclair, NJ 07042 (973) 744-4752  
And speaking of the passing of moons, many moons ago my kids went to Playhouse Nursery School.  In one of those coincidences of life, my wife Lisa is now a director at said same school.   This is their annual fund raiser.  There will be raffles, silent auctions for various goodies, food, and entertainment by yours truly.   I will be playing piano from roughly 7 to 9 or so.   And afterwards, you can go across the street and have a drink at The Franklin Tavern.
http://www.playhouseonline.org/

March 28, Saturday, 8:00 PM-11ish – Shuffle, Jump, and Moan at Maxfields on Main, 713 Main Street, Boonton, New Jersey 07005  973-588-4450
We’ve been having a great old time playing at Maxfield’s.  The club owners genuinely appreciate good music and treat the performers with respect.  Good vibes, good food.
http://www.maxfieldsonmain.com/