May 5, 2016:      The Persistence of Memory

It is said (not by me) that when you lose a limb you have false sensations coming from the missing limb.   

Losing someone you love is somewhat like that.  The person is gone, but your brain thinks they are still there. 

My beloved cousin Phyllis died over a year ago.  We mourned and have more or less moved on, but there’s an empty place when the family gets together.    But recently we had another death in our family – my cousin Arthur had a heart attack and died a few weeks later.  Arthur was 90 and had been in poor health for many years, so while it was sad, it was not a tragedy like Phyllis dying way too soon.   But here’s the point.   When we heard the news about Arthur’s heart attack, my wife Lisa & I both had exactly the same immediate reflexive thought –  “We have to tell Phyllis”. 

Oh. . . .  Right. . . .

Leaving that somber note for some brighter tones ->

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May 6, Friday, 8:30 PM-11:30ish – Shuffle, Jump, and Moan at Maxfields on Main, 713 Main Street, Boonton, New Jersey 07005  973-588-4450
We’re doing some new material and we have to decide.  Is the second chord in the verse an Eb7 or is it an Eb with an F bass?  The only way you’ll know is to come hear us – otherwise YOU MAY NEVER KNOW (queue the ominous music).   Unless of course you come hear us later this month
http://www.maxfieldsonmain.com/
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Shuffle-Jump-Moan/379081422265206?fref=ts

May 14, Saturday, 8-9:30 PM – Lunatic Fringe,  Glen Ridge Community Center @ The Glen Ridge Train Station, 228 Ridgewood Avenue (corner of Bloomfield Avenue), Glen Ridge, NJ   Reservations: (973) 429-1527
We no longer have Ted Cruz to make fun of, it’s down to Donald Trump, but I’m sure that “The Fringe” will find plenty of stuff to mock.  Tickets: $12 at the door; $10 with a reservation
http://www.lunaticfringeimprov.com
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=53938723078&ref=ts

Mayr 28th, Saturday, 8:00PM-10:00 – Shuffle, Jump, and Moan at Hat City, 459 Valley Street,  City of Orange, NJ 07050 (862) 252-9147
And starting off the Memorial Day weekend it’s back to the ever popular Hat City.  Hat City is clean, it has a good sound system, and it has excellent New Orleans style food.   I believe there’s a cover charge of $10, but call ahead to confirm.
http://www.hatcitykitchen.com 
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Shuffle-Jump-Moan/379081422265206?fref=ts

April 9, 2016:      Welcome to my Life

What follows is an actual exchange between me and my wife – pretty much verbatim:

Me (calling from the front hallway):  Lisa, where are you?
Lisa: I’m upstairs (at least that’s what I though she said)

I proceed to go upstairs.  I look in the old playroom, my son’s old room, the guest room, my daughter’s old room, and the bathroom.  Lisa is not there.

Me (calling from the 2nd floor):  Lisa, where are you?
Lisa (her voice now sounds a little muffled): I’m upstairs (at least that’s what I though she said)
I proceed to go to the attic.  I look in the back room, I look in our bedroom.  Lisa is not there. 

Me (calling from the attic):  Where are you?
Lisa (her voice now sounds even more muffled): I’m mmmmmmmm (I can’t make out what she’s saying, but I know she’s not in the attic.)
I go back to the second floor.   I look in the old playroom, my son’s old room, the guest room, my daughter’s old room, and the bathroom.  Lisa is not there.

Me (calling from the 2nd floor):  Where are you?
Lisa (her voice now sounds a little less muffled): I’m right here.
I have now deduced that Lisa is not in the attic or on the second floor.  I proceed to go downstairs.  I go in the kitchen.  Lisa is not there.  I go to the front hallway.  Lisa is not there.

Me:  Where are you?
Lisa (now I hear her voice coming from the living room): I’m right here.

My wife has been in the living room all along.

I wish I could package & sell the comedy routines that make up my daily life – I could quit my day job.    In the meanwhile, Lisa & I agree that we need to buy one of those tiny one room mini-houses so this doesn’t happen again.

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Apr 9th, Saturday, 9:00PM-1:00ish – Better Off Dead at The Great Notch Inn, Route 46, Little Falls  (973) 256-7742
The Great Notch Inn (AKA GNI, AKA “The Notch”) has been in the news recently.     The Dept of Transportation is “re-wiring” the route 3/46 intersection – which involves lots of bulldozers, cranes, and paving equipment.  For a while it looked like GNI  would be buried under a layer of hot asphalt.   But “The Notch” will continue to stand strong – albeit on an island between routes 3 & 46.   Here’s an article which gives details, along with some history of how GNI came to be:    
http://www.northjersey.com/news/last-call-not-on-tap-for-legendary-little-falls-bar-1.1537666?page=all
http://www.betteroffdead.com/home.htm
http://www.agreatertown.com/little_falls_nj/great_notch_inn_new_jerseys_rockin_roadhouse_00089580
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Great-Notch-Inn/45741843010?fref=ts

Apr 16, Friday, 8:30ish PM-11:00ish – Shuffle, Jump, and Moan at Red Buddha Lounge, 535 Ridge Road Lyndhurst, NJ 07071  (201) 438-1007
This is a new place for SJ&M so I can only report that I’ve heard good things about it.  SJ&M continues to pump out that red hot blues (to mix some metaphors). 
http://www.redbuddhalounge.com
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Shuffle-Jump-Moan/379081422265206?fref=ts

March 11, 2016:      Memories of My Dad

Been thinking about my father.   Not many folks inspire poetry, but my gentle, kind dad had an impact on many people that extended far beyond his modest musical contributions.   As I read this wonderful poem by Michael Scholnick, it evokes sort of a physical feeling –   growing up (and being grown up)  back with my dad and family back there on Dawson Ave in Clifton, NJ.

From New Directions in Prose and Poetry (vol. 37, nos. 1-3; 1978).

For Irwin Heilner

Experience is disappointing,
that’s why life’s absurd.
I learned this watching you shave
lecturing about Beethoven
and prison reform
polite man bathrobed
standing in your living room

I was company

“. . . And all we can do,” you said,
finger scanning skin neck cheeks
feeling baby red smooth skin,
“Is punish, punish, punish.”
Now finding a hair then clipping delicately
with a conductor’s wrist.

Wisdom flows in your speech of an art to consciousness 
heavier than Beethoven’s fist
Amazing how he tamed such wildness 
ordering blue soldiers in blue chariots 
to march around the white Chinese teacup of his mind
How zapped with power he lifted his wrath 
above the birds and clouds above Napoleon’s imagination
And smashed antiquity 
dropping Quartets 14 15 & 16 
on God’s porcelain tongue

For you a musician
An eccentric librarian whose deepest thoughts dwell dusty and unpublished
The eternal is fierce and now
Who can deny your chilly chords?
For you scores of inspiration
Manuals cartons of sage sense
A humble universe
The science of your soul
in an unknown basement 
on Dawson Avenue 
in Clifton, New Jersey

Michael Scholnick

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Mar 12th, Saturday, 8:00PM-10:30 – Shuffle, Jump, and Moan at Hat City, 459 Valley Street,  City of Orange, NJ 07050 (862) 252-9147
After a winter’s rest, I’m back with SJ&M at the ever popular Hat City.  I look forward to mixing things up with the crew.   Hat City is clean, it has a good sound system, and it has excellent New Orleans style food.   I believe there’s a cover charge of $10, but call ahead to confirm.
http://www.hatcitykitchen.com
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Shuffle-Jump-Moan/379081422265206?fref=ts

Mar 18, Friday, 8:00 PM-11ish – Shuffle, Jump, and Moan at Maxfields on Main, 713 Main Street, Boonton, New Jersey 07005  973-588-4450
Yes, it’s back to back SJ&Ming.   If I hit any wrong notes last week, I promise I’ll get ‘em right this time.  Maxfield’s is comfortable and relaxed (that’s code for it’s good for folks over 50).
http://www.maxfieldsonmain.com/
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Shuffle-Jump-Moan/379081422265206?fref=ts

Mar 19th, Saturday, 9:00PM-1:00ish – Better Off Dead at The Great Notch Inn, Route 46, Little Falls  (973) 256-7742
And it’s the first Better off Dead show of the new year.   The Great Notch Inn is sort of the antithesis of places like Hat City and Maxfields.   It’s noisy, crowded, raucous and great fun.   But don’t get me wrong, folks over 50 are more than welcome.  Vroooom!
http://www.betteroffdead.com/home.htm
http://www.agreatertown.com/little_falls_nj/great_notch_inn_new_jerseys_rockin_roadhouse_00089580
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Great-Notch-Inn/45741843010?fref=ts

February 12, 2016:      Look before you leap?

Here’s a story that’s been passed down in my family.   

My grandfather on my father’s side – Jules Heilner – was an industrialist and sportsman.   This was in the early 1900s.    His primary business was manufacturing corsets – that ancient device for torturing women.     Anyway, Jules had a foolproof method for hiring men for his company (and of course it was only men).   He would take the prospect out to lunch and they would order steaks (but of course steak, what else would real men eat?).   Jules would watch and see if the prospect would put salt on his steak before eating.   If the prospect tasted the steak *before* adding salt, Jules knew that this was a man of good judgement and would likely hire him.  But if the prospect simply salted and ate away, then obviously this man could not be trusted to make sound business decisions.

I’m trying to think of a modern equivalent.   Salad dressing on the side?   Sampling your sushi before adding wasabi?    Maybe tasting your food before having your waitron add freshly ground pepper?    Any ideas out there?

As far as the family history goes, the story is that Jules lost most of his money in the 1929 crash, and eventually lost the rest because he did not switch to bras.   It was inconceivable that women would want to wear bras instead of corsets.

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Feb 13, Saturday, 8-9:30 PM – Lunatic Fringe,  Glen Ridge Community Center @ The Glen Ridge Train Station, 228 Ridgewood Avenue (corner of Bloomfield Avenue), Glen Ridge, NJ   Reservations: (973) 429-1527
There are fewer Republican candidates to make fun of, but I’m sure that “The Fringe” will find plenty of stuff to mock.  Tickets: $12 at the door; $10 with a reservation
http://www.lunaticfringeimprov.com
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=53938723078&ref=ts

Feb 13, Saturday, 10:00PM-12:00 – Arthur Neilson and his Kick Ass Band, The Lincoln Inn, 13 Lincoln St, Jersey City  (201) 659-8686
And in the “in never rains but it pours” category, there will be a low pressure weather system in the Glen Ridge Train Station as I rush out the door and hasten over to Jersey City to kick musical ass with Arthur Neilson.  Parenthetically I would note that not many people know how to “hasten” anymore – it seems to be a lost art, but I’m doing my best to keep it current.   Also note that I will not be breaking any laws in the course of my “hastening”.    And now that I think about it?   “The Hastening”.   That sounds like a Steven King novel.   But I digress.   Arthur Neilson – Saturday Night – Jersey City.
http://www.arthurneilson.com/
http://thelincolninnjc.com/
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Lincoln-Inn-Bar-Grill/864413516925247

Feb 26, Friday, 7:00-9:00ish PM – Al Gold & Eric Heilner, Ruthie’s BBQ, 64 1/2 Chestnut Ave, Montclair  (973) 509-1134
In another lifetime Al Gold might have been an opera singer – he has this rich deep baritone which reverberates in your gut.   But instead of opera, Al puts his talents in the service of keeping the blues alive.  Incidentally, that gut reverberation can also help you digest some of the best food in Montclair.
http://www.ruthiesbbq.com/
http://www.myspace.com/algoldthesuburbanrhythmkings

January 8, 2016:      And how were your holidays?

I had a great time.  I took the last two weeks off from work and had a very productive and enjoyable time.

• My brother-in-law Ken and nephew Simon visited us from Vancouver.   We had dinner at Raymond’s and went to the Museum of Modern Art.
• I got my Christmas cards out.
• We saw the new Star Wars movie on Christmas Day and went to Chengdu 23 for dinner.   I had the double cooked pork.  We had lots of leftovers.
• I practiced piano and worked on a piece for string quartet.
• I got a new 10 port USB hub for the upstairs computer.
• Lisa & I went with friends to a movie on New Year’s eve.  We barely made it to see the ball drop.
• The kids and I had lunch at a very trendy East Village restaurant with my cousins Toby & Arielle.  I was the most un-hip person in the whole place.
• I got new ink for the upstairs printer.
• I finally put the storm doors up – what with the freakish warm weather I kept holding off.

And how were your holidays?

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Jan 9th, Saturday, 8-9:30 PM – Lunatic Fringe,  Glen Ridge Community Center @ The Glen Ridge Train Station, 228 Ridgewood Avenue (corner of Bloomfield Avenue), Glen Ridge, NJ   Reservations: (973) 429-1527
I wonder if we can make it through the show without mentioning Donald Trump at least once.    Tickets: $12 at the door; $10 with a reservation
http://www.lunaticfringeimprov.com
https://www.facebook.com/Lunatic-Fringe-107666908746/?fref=ts

Jan 29th, Friday, 7:00PM-9:00ish – Joe Taino, Ruthie’s BBQ, 64 1/2 Chestnut Ave, Montclair  (973) 509-1134
Joe Taino is one of the most respected guitar players in the North Jersey blues scene, but his range of playing extends to every rock style imaginable and goes into jazz and latin music as well.  So I’m excited and a little intimidated to be doing a duo show with him at Ruthie’s.  Hopefully I can keep up with him.   BYO at Ruthie’s and be patient when ordering food – it’s worth the wait.
https://www.facebook.com/arneenglundbandhttp://www.ruthiesbbq.com/

December 4, 2015:      The music business . . .

“The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There’s also a negative side.”

This quote is attributed to Hunter Thompson.   He didn’t say exactly this, but it’s pretty close.  

I “retired’ from the music business back in the early 80’s – basically I got tired of banging my head against the wall.   (Or as my mother used to say when I asked her what to do when I got bored – “Geh klopfen kopf in wand”.)   But I digress.   

Occasionally a family friend will say to me “Hey, I know this person who’s really talented and wants to go into music.  What should they do?”     My response is typically something along the lines of “They should take all their money, sell their house, sell their children into slavery, and buy lottery tickets.  Because you have a better chance of success that way than in the music business”.

Of course someone always wins the lottery and someone always gets to be star – but the odds are against you.  There is almost no relationship between talent and success.  OK, there are exceptions in classical music & jazz – you cannot be a successful classical musician unless you are extraordinarily talented – but even then you also have to be lucky and be in the right place at the right time.

Many of the musicians I play with are every bit as talented as the musicians you might see on one of those awful bands that you might see on Saturday Night Live or any of the evening talk shows.  So how did those people get in and not others?   Luck of the draw, right place/time, having a talent at making connections or ingratiating yourself with the right people.   Many times it’s just a matter of guessing wrong – you think a particular group is going to make it to the big time, so you invest a few years of your life and then things go south – or maybe it turns out that the music you were playing goes out of style or any of a hundred other things goes wrong.   Now you’re a few years older.  It breaks my heart to see these great talented musicians struggle just to pay the rent and take care of their health.

I had a life choice back there in 1982.  I could have joined a wedding band.   You can make a decent enough living in the right wedding band.   If I did not have my technical skills I might have gone that route.  But I didn’t want to play music simply to pay the rent.   You gotta play New Year’s Eve, you can never turn down a gig.    Also there was that little minor incentive that I could make a much better living as a computer programmer – with a lot less wear and tear on my body.  And there is a decent (but not perfect) correlation between talent and success in computer programming.

But to end on a somewhat positive note, yes, I do have a few musician friends who have been reasonably successful simply based on their own talent – albeit after a lot of struggling.

Meanwhile, this is an unusually busy month for me.

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Dec 5th, Saturday, 8-9:30 PM – Lunatic Fringe,  Glen Ridge Community Center @ The Glen Ridge Train Station, 228 Ridgewood Avenue (corner of Bloomfield Avenue), Glen Ridge, NJ   Reservations: (973) 429-1527
The daily news may be confusing and disturbing but there’s lots of stuff to laugh at out there.  Tickets: $12 at the door; $10 with a reservation
http://www.lunaticfringeimprov.com
https://www.facebook.com/Lunatic-Fringe-107666908746/?fref=ts

Dec 6th, Sunday, 3:00PM-6:00PM – Mostly Blues Jam Session at Hat City, 459 Valley Street,  City of Orange, NJ 07050 (862) 252-9147
Al Gold runs this most excellent jam session every other Sunday afternoon.  I’ll be in the house band, but typically other keyboard players show up and get a turn playing as well; so if you show up and I m not on stage, I will be back.  It’s Sunday afternoon – so those of you who usually fall asleep at 9:00 have no excuse not to come on out.
http://www.hatcitykitchen.com
https://www.facebook.com/al.gold.9?fref=ts

Dec 11, Friday, 7:00-9:00ish PM – Kevin Kiley, Ruthie’s BBQ, 64 1/2 Chestnut Ave, Montclair  (973) 509-1134
It’s been a long time since Kevin & I played together – 2 years is it? – so I’m looking forward to this reunion.  If you’ve never heard him, Kevin is a great vocalist who works at the intersection of rock, blues, and country.   Over the years, Kevin has introduced me to many great but lesser known musicians – in particular James Booker – and he taught me to appreciate the finer points of singers such as Hank Williams  & George Jones.  Friday Nights at Ruthie’s tend get crowded, so you may want to show up a little early to get a seat.  BYO.
http://www.ruthiesbbq.com/
http://www.kevinkiley.com/

Dec 12, Saturday, 8:00 PM-11ish – Shuffle, Jump, and Moan at Maxfields on Main, 713 Main Street, Boonton, New Jersey 07005  973-588-4450SJ&M makes a return visit to to this finely appointed venue (and I promise to never use the phrase ‘finely appointed’ again)  SJ&M has been hot – it seems like every show we get tighter and pump up energy a little higher.  Good vibes, good food.
http://www.maxfieldsonmain.com/
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Shuffle-Jump-Moan/379081422265206?fref=ts

Dec 18, Saturday, 8:00PM-11ish – Better Off Dead and Al Gold & SRK at at Hat City, 459 Valley Street,  City of Orange, NJ 07050 (862) 252-9147
It’s Al Gold & the SRK Allstars 5th Annual HCK Holiday Party – but this time it’s a double header.   First up – Better Off Dead doing their unique off beat takes on roots rock& roll, followed by Al Gold and the Suburban Rhythm King Allstars.  Somehow at this show I will manage to be both better off dead and an all star – although not simultaneously.   We are also expecting a bunch of guest musicians sitting in – so basically it’s just a big old musical party.
http://www.hatcitykitchen.com
http://www.betteroffdead.com/home.htm/
https://www.facebook.com/al.gold.9?fref=ts

December 19, Saturday, 9:00PM-1:00AM – Better Off Dead at The Great Notch Inn, Route 46, Little Falls  (973) 256-7742
And closing out this busy, busy month is BOD’s annual Christmas theme’s extravaganza and “Da Notch”  Once again I will have to humiliate myself and wear an elf’s cap.   Oh – the things I have to put up with…..
http://www.betteroffdead.com/home.htm/
http://www.agreatertown.com/little_falls_nj/great_notch_inn_new_jerseys_rockin_roadhouse_00089580