January 1, 2017:      Facebook Adieu

Those of you who are simultaneously recipients of these little  e-mail musings and a Friend on Facebook (and should you capitalize “Friend”?) are likely aware that I have “gone dark” on Facebook.    For those of you who are not on Facebook, here’s what I had to say:

“I will be taking an extended leave of absence from Facebook.

The last year has been extremely discouraging.  I have never seen this level of political vitriol in my lifetime – and the posting of false rumors and other bogus news goes on and on.  I have attempted to be a voice of reason in all this and to keep my sense of humor, but it is a lonely and thankless task.

But that is not why I’m leaving.   As they say in my karate school – “Fall down twice, get up three times”.  The reason is more personal.  I’m not the sort of person who can just casually glance at the top few posts and leave – I have to analyze and parse everything I read.   Facebook is just taking away too much of the remaining time (and hopefully a very nice pleasant long time) that I have on this planet – and I need that time for other more important tasks.

SO – I will not be reading or posting to Facebook, and I will not be receiving (or responding to) any Facebook e-mails, invites, etc, etc.   I think most of you have my contact information, but if you do not and you need to get in touch with me, you can send me an e-mail through my web site:  www.ericheilner.com

I will miss the pictures of family & kids, I will miss the musical posts, and yes I will even miss the political stuff.  But… I will be back. . .  one of these days. . .

http://giphy.com/gifs/terminator-gif-arnold-schwarzenegger-JDKxRN0Bvmm2c”  

Over the last few years, Facebook has taken up more and more of my time.  But the final straw for me was getting suckered into an extended political discussion with a cousin of mine.  The actual details of this conversation are not important.  Suffice it to say that my cousin is on the opposite extreme from me politically *and* over the years he has had, ummm,  difficulty distinguishing fact from fiction (a phenomena I see on all sides of the political spectrum).  So besides the usual problems of condensing a large amount of information into a compact reply, I also had to take extra care to insure that all my information was correct.   All of this took a good chunk of my time – maybe 2 to 3 hours – right when I was heads down finishing a string quartet – and was very distracting.  

Anyway, after I posted my little farewell on Facebook, I turned off all the settings that allowed folks to contact me – and then (cue the kettle drum drum fanfareI) I LOGGED OUT.   And after I logged out?   I immediately felt a great sense of relief.

Meta-comment: My leave of absence lasted a bit over a year

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You may not feel a sense of relief, but you will have a fun time if you come to see me play. 
January 6th, Friday, 8:30 PM-11:30ish – Better Off Dead at at Maxfields on Main, 713 Main Street, Boonton, New Jersey 07005  973-588-4450
Ah, the first 2017 BoD gig.  Those of you who have been to Maxfields can confirm that the food is excellent and the ambience is top notch (i.e., not merely great notch)
http://www.maxfieldsonmain.com/http://www.betteroffdead.com/home.htm/

December 3, 2016:      DANGER!!

The scene – a clearing at the edge of a dense forest.  The year, roughly 8,000 BC.
Ung the caveman cautiously stepped out of the forest into the clearing.   It felt good to be under the sun, but he was alone and had to be on the watch for predators.    There was a large rock in the middle of the clearing that had been left by the last glacier.   Ung did not know this, since that was over 2000 years ago; the glacier was now 500 miles to the north and still receding.  But no matter.   His goal was to get to the rock, enjoy a bit of sun, and then get back to the cave before sun down.

Halfway across the clearing, the hairs on the back of Ung’s neck suddenly bristled.    He had missed something.   Turning around to his right, he saw a pack of wolves loping across the clearing.    Immediately Ung saw everything very clearly and in slow motion.   His adrenal glands had kicked into high gear and epinephrine poured into his blood stream.  In a fraction of a second the release of chemical messengers resulted in the production of the hormone cortisol, which increased Ung’s blood pressure, blood sugar, and suppressed his immune & digestive systems.  Ung’s heart rate quickly doubled and he felt his scrotum & sphincter muscles tighten up.

Ung was ready for action, but he only had two choices.  Up ahead, he could see that the large rock had a concave wall where the wolves could not surround him.   Ung had his good club with him as well as his best flint knife, so he might be able to fight the wolves off.    Alternatively, Ung could run for the forest over to his left – there were trees that Ung could climb and get out of reach – the wolves would eventually give up.

What should Ung do?   Should he fight or take flight?

The scene – my bedroom, early morning.  The date – late November, 2016
I wake up much earlier than usual.   DANGER!  The alarm has not yet rung, yet I am immediately wide awake.  My heart is pounding, adrenaline is pouring into my blood stream.   DANGER! !  Eric!  You’re in serious danger, your family is in danger.  Do something!   Fight or flight, Eric.  DANGER!  

I’m now wide awake, so there’s no point in sleeping.

You likely see where I’m going with this.   Since the recent election my body has been in full fight or flight mode.    Unfortunately this ancient & primitive body response does me no good.    I am in no immediate danger – Trump is not setting packs of wild wolves loose in Montclair, NJ.     

I did not feel like this when Nixon was elected.  Not Reagan.  Not Bush I or II.   The only thing in my lifetime that I can compare this to is the Cuban Missile Crisis.   At the time I was in 9th grade going to Woodrow Wilson Junior High School in Clifton.   My classroom  faced the west and about 1/4 mile away I could see Garrett Mountain (which faced east towards New York).  I looked out the window every few minutes and braced myself for a sudden large flash of light reflecting off the cliffs.   That would let me know that the bomb had dropped on New York City and I would have maybe 15 seconds of life left before the shock wave of the blast reached 12 miles west from New York to Clifton.

Now I am not worried that Trump is going to start world war 3 or drop the bomb.  It wouldn’t be good for his businesses.   The dangers are long term and slow moving.   Of all the bad stuff that is likely to happen, the worst of all is the damage that will done to the environment.   We can recover from another financial collapse, another round of terrorism, etc.  But the things that will be done to our global eco-system will be irreversible for many lifetimes.   I will not see the worst of this, but my children and any grandkids will suffer the consequences of the bad decisions being made now.

I am optimistic by temperament but pessimistic by intellect – and I see no way that we’ll get through the next 4 years without some serious collateral damage.   The absolute best possible outcome I can hypothesize is that Trump screws up quickly but not too seriously – i.e. he screws up just enough to change the body politic but that any damage done is easily recoverable.   But that is a very low probability event.

Let’s all hope that I am mistaken.   I will gladly be wrong.   In fact, I’ll go further.  I’m not religious, but if anyone out there wants to pray that I am wrong?  Go for it – you have my blessing.

Meanwhile, I’ve been trying to put that excess adrenaline to use and have been busy finishing up a string quartet.

Sorry for the bummer post here.   Next time around I hope to be back with some quirky humor or observation.

DANGER!!

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December 10, Saturday, 7:00PM-8:30PM – Out Of The Red Concert at Parkside Lounge, 317 E. Houston, New York, NY 10002  (212) 673-6270
This is a fund raiser for the Composer’s Collective – a non profit NYC based group of folks dedicated to composing and creating new music – and of which I’m a member.  This hour and 1/2 event will feature of variety of performers doing original compositions.  Somewhere in this mix I will be playing some rock & roll piano.  So this is a rare (albeit brief) chance to catch me playing in New York and it will give you the opportunity to donate some $$ to a worthy cause.  Tickets are $20 and I believe there is a two drink minimum.  You can get tickets ahead of time at the link just below or you can pay at the door.  Plus it’s over at 8:30 so you will be out and about at a decent hour.http://www.composerscollective.org/event/out-of-the-red-fundraiser/http://www.composerscollective.org/http://www.parksidelounge.com/

December 17, Saturday, 9:00PM-1:00AM – Better Off Dead at The Great Notch Inn, Route 46, Little Falls  (973) 256-7742
It’s  BOD’s annual Christmas theme’s extravaganza at “Da Notch”  Once again I will have to humiliate myself and wear an elf’s cap.   The things I have to put up with…..
http://www.betteroffdead.com/home.htm/
http://www.agreatertown.com/little_falls_nj/great_notch_inn_new_jerseys_rockin_roadhouse_00089580

October 18, 2016:      Verizon Customer Support

I shouldn’t complain too much – over the years we’ve actually had fairly decent customer support from Verizon – although maybe I have low expectations.   Anyway, back in June Lisa & I upended our lives and re-located our bedroom from the attic down to the second floor. In the course of this we needed to put in a new cable line in the bedroom.  I tried calling Verizon Customer Support but there was an 45 minute wait, so I decided to give their “chat support” a try.   Things actually went pretty well until I tried to figure out the bill, at which point things got very confused.   I saved the entire conversation and am putting it in here for your amusement.   Since it is quite long, I’m putting it after the important stuff – where I’m playing the next few weeks.  

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October 21st, Friday, 8:30 PM-11:30ish – Shuffle, Jump, and Moan at Maxfields on Main, 713 Main Street, Boonton, New Jersey 07005  973-588-4450SJ&M are back at one of our favorite haunts.   No it’s not quite Halloween, so any haunting will be premature, but we’ll do our best.  Great food, great vibe.
http://www.maxfieldsonmain.com/https://www.facebook.com/pages/Shuffle-Jump-Moan/379081422265206?fref=ts

October 28th, Friday, 9:00PM-1:00ish – Better Off Dead at The Great Notch Inn, Route 46, Little Falls  (973) 256-7742It’s the annual Great Notch Halloween Show   The bikes will be covered with cobwebs, but they look pretty cool as they stream down Rt 46.  My fellow band mates always come up with some sort of unique costume thing, I will have to dig out my Groucho Marx fake eyeglasses and mustache.  We’ll do the Monster Mash.
http://www.betteroffdead.com/home.htm
http://www.agreatertown.com/little_falls_nj/great_notch_inn_new_jerseys_rockin_roadhouse_00089580
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Great-Notch-Inn/45741843010?fref=ts

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So here’s the “conversation” I had with Verizon.  
By way of explanation, our account is in Lisa’s name, so “L. Korn” is actually me doing the texting. . . .Oh, and if you actually understand why we were credited $3.50 for removing our bundle and then charged #10.33 for adding our bundle back in?   Keep it to yourself!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – 

Chat Subject:Upgrade/Change Existing Services
Your Question:we want an additional cable line for a different room. no new equipment needed
Thank you for your patience. A Verizon chat expert will be with you shortly. 
Agent Roselyn has joined. (12:42:54)
Roselyn : Chat ID for this session is 05301665285. (12:42:54)
Roselyn(12:42:54): Hello. Thank you for chatting with Verizon.
Roselyn(12:43:04): Hello! Thank you for being a valued Verizon customer. 
Roselyn(12:43:54): I would be glad to help you add the additional line for your location. 
Roselyn(12:45:05): To add the Coaxial outlet, it would be $69.99 one time charge for installation and $99.99 one time charge for the tech visit. 
Roselyn(12:45:20): Would you like to add additional line to your account? 
L KORN(12:45:20): ok
L KORN(12:45:28): yes please
L KORN(12:45:41): no new equipment
L KORN(12:45:57): just the cable install
Roselyn(12:47:17): Thank you for the information. I would be glad to assist you order the TV outlet for your location.
Roselyn(12:47:37): I’ll be happy to help, but before I do, for security and protection of your account record can you please verify that I’m chatting with L Korn, and provide the 4-digit optional PIN. 
L KORN(12:47:46): nnnn
Roselyn(12:49:01): Thank you! Can you please confirm that I’m chatting with L Korn?
L KORN(12:49:34): how should I do that?
Roselyn(12:49:49): May I know if you are L Korn?
L KORN(12:50:01): I am her husband
L KORN(12:50:12): Eric Heilner
L KORN(12:50:42): my Verizon userid is xxxx.yyyyyyyy
Roselyn(12:51:22): Thank you for the information. Just to confirm, are you authorized to make any changes on the account?
L KORN(12:51:28): yes
Roselyn(12:51:53): Thank you for confirming, please stay connected while I am working on your request.
Roselyn(12:55:58): Your installation is scheduled for Monday, June 06. Our technician will arrive sometime between 8:00 am and 12:00 pm. Is that convenient for you? 
L KORN(12:57:12): yes
Roselyn(12:58:12): Thank you for confirming, please stay connected while I process your order.
Roselyn(12:58:22): On the day of your appointment, we’ll contact you with a one-hour estimated arrival window, so it’s important that we have good contact information. 
If the estimated arrival time changes, we’ll send you updates. 
Roselyn(12:58:37): Once our technician arrives, it will take about 2 hours to complete your installation. 
L KORN(12:59:08): Is there a confirmation number?
Roselyn(12:59:53): Yes, once we are done with the order process, I would help you with the order number. 
Please confirm: your mobile telephone number: 973-nnn-nnnn and email id is: eric.heilner@verizon.net
L KORN(13:00:45): That is correct – but for the install suggest you contact using our home number 973 mmm-mmmm
Roselyn(13:01:35): Thank you for the information.
Roselyn(13:03:26): Thank you for your time and patience. Please confirm your email id is: eric.heilner@verizon.net to help you check for the prices on preview of the estimated bill, before you commit on any changes on your account. 
L KORN(13:03:49): that is my email
Roselyn(13:04:34): Thank you for confirming, please check the preview of the estimated bill, I just sent you.
Roselyn(13:05:29): Let me know once done, I am right here to assist you further. 
L KORN(13:06:02): My Outlook is slow – 
Roselyn(13:06:29): Please take your time, and let me know once done, I am right here to assist you.
Roselyn(13:07:44): May I know if you received the preview of the estimated bill? 
L KORN(13:08:18): I am looking at the bill now. It is very confusing
Roselyn(13:09:28): Please go ahead with your question. I will be glad to assist you.
L KORN(13:11:20): I’m seeing FIOS bundle changes. It looks like they are being removed and then added as well
Roselyn(13:13:05): There were no changes made to your bundle services. You would be able to see Outlet Installation @ $69.99 – Installment 1 of 3 , $23.33 for each installation and Technician Visit Fee $99 one time charge.
Roselyn(13:14:36): Were you able to check for the one time charges on the preview of the estimated bill? 
L KORN(13:15:04): I see the one time charges – those are OK
L KORN(13:15:57): But then there is a credit of $3.50 for removing the bundles, and then there is a charge of $10.33 for adding the services back in
L KORN(13:16:16): Some sort of partial month thing
Roselyn(13:16:41): Verizon bills in advance for all services and products. 
The bill you are viewing includes partial month charges based on the date you made changes or installed service, up to the next statement date. This bill also includes advance charges for next month.
L KORN(13:17:02): So is the billing date being changed?
Roselyn(13:18:17): I se that 19th of every mionth is your bill date.
Roselyn(13:18:22): *month 
Roselyn(13:18:47): Should we proceed and secure the installation order for you? 
L KORN(13:19:04): So if the billing date is not being changed then there should not be any partial month charges, since we are not changing our services
Roselyn(13:21:00): Every time you make any changes on your account, you would see the first month bill would include partial and pro-rated monthly charges on the first bill after the changes made on your account, this is because Verizon charges one month in advance. The bill you receive on 06/19/2016 would be your first bill after you submit the order for installation of outlet and tech visit.
L KORN(13:22:13): I still do not understand. We are not making any changes to our account,
Roselyn(13:23:13): Yes, you are correct, you are not making any changes to your bundle services; however, you are adding outlet order on your account.
Roselyn(13:23:43): So, your bill includes bundle price + equipment fees + taxes and other fees + one time charges. 
L KORN(13:24:34): But that is what’s confusing – why are we getting one time charges for changing our bundle – when we are *not*
changing our bundle
Roselyn(13:27:34): Thank you for continuing to hold. I appreciate your patience.
Roselyn(13:27:39): Your first bill would be on 06/19/2016 after you make any changes on your account, the changes can be adding the outlet or making changes to your bundle price. The first month bill after the changes would include partial and pro-rated charges. 
Roselyn(13:27:54): Would you like to proceed and order the outlet installation on your account? 
Roselyn(13:30:10): I haven’t heard from you for a few moments. Would you like to continue chatting? 
L KORN(13:30:39): I give up. You are giving me a $3.50 credit for cancelling our services and then you are charging me 10.33 to give it back
L KORN(13:31:02): But yes, please go ahead and order the installation
L KORN(13:31:40): Monday June 6 – between 8 AM and 12 PM
Roselyn(13:33:55): Thank you for confirming. Please stay connected while I work on your request.
L KORN(13:34:10): I am here
Roselyn(13:37:11): Thank you for continuing to hold. I appreciate your patience.
Roselyn(13:38:21): “We are just about to wrap up. There are 3 important things I need you to remember about your order.” 
Roselyn(13:38:26): 1) “We will send you an email/mail with the same partial month charge and monthly rate information I just covered with you.” 
Roselyn(13:38:46): 2) “Your installation is scheduled for (Monday, June 06, 2016 ) and (08:00 AM-12:00 PM ) and we’ll confirm your appointment ahead of time.” 
Roselyn(13:39:31): 3) “I want to confirm one last time that your cell/alternate number is 973-nnn-nnnn/973-mmm-mmmm and your email address is eric.heilner@verizon.net. Please read the email/mail we send because they will contain important information about your order.” 
L KORN(13:40:00): that is all correct
Roselyn(13:40:10): Please type the word ‘YES’ and your Full Name, to indicate you agree to add the installation order and tech visit on your account. Typing ‘YES’ and your Full Name will constitute your electronic signature.
L KORN(13:40:26): YES Eric Heilner
Roselyn(13:41:01): Thank you! Here is your order number: NJ11240782569.
Roselyn(13:41:11): Congratulations on completing your Verizon order successfully online. 
You will receive an e-mail confirmation letter, within 24 hours, from Verizon. This e-mail will have your online order number which you can use to check your online order status. 
Roselyn(13:41:16): Can you think of any additional questions that I can assist you with today? 
L KORN(13:41:30): Nothing today, I need a long nap now. Thank you
Roselyn(13:41:45): Thank you for chatting with Verizon. 
Please take a minute to complete the survey at the close of this chat. Your feedback is important! The survey will appear once you click “end”. 
If you need anything else, don’t hesitate to contact us again. 
Have a great day!
Your session is now closed.
Live Chat Transcript
It was a pleasure to assist you. Your chat session has ended. Thank You. 
Your chat ID number is 05301665285. 

September 13, 2016:      How to Vacation with Young Children

Now that our kids are adults (more or less), vacations take on a different flavor – assuming that they come along. One nice benefit is that you have additional Designated Drivers – so you can have that second glass of wine at dinner.   Another plus is that they take showers without being reminded.  However, I know that at least some of you out there have young children – which brings back many memories.   For many years my wife Lisa & I went up to Cape Cod with our kids Joshua and Hannah and we would rent a house for a few weeks.  One year my sister Deborah, brother in law Ken, and nephew Ethan joined us and we rented a larger house.   I think Josh & Hannah were about 7 and Ethan was 3.   At the time I thought it useful to come up with a game plan, so I sent this e-mail to my sister.    Perhaps those of you with small kids can get some helpful hints from this.

Vacation Schedule

Saturday, Aug 7th:
    2:00  Check In
    2:05  Josh & Hannah get into a fight over who will get the bigger bed
    3:00  Josh & Hannah get into a fight setting up their tent in the backyard
    5:30  Traditional 1st night dinner at Moby Dick’s restaurant
    7:30  Walk in Wellfleet
    9:30  Hannah has a 2 hour tantrum after refusing to go to bed.

Sunday
    7:00  Kids get up
    7:01  Josh turns on TV to watch “Power Rangers Kick the Bad Guys Butts”
    7:02  Josh has a horrible temper tantrum because he can’t watch “Power Rangers Kick the Bad Guys Butts”, kicks in the front door instead
    9:30  Put on suntan lotion
   10:00  Get lunch ready
   11:30  Leave for Gull Pond
   12:00  Get to Gull Pond, Josh has fuss because we won’t rent kayaks the 1st day.  Has to sit in the van for an hour
   1:30   Josh & Hannah fight over beach toys
   2:30   Hannah has tantrum because Josh won’t go in the pond with her. Lisa takes Hannah back to house.
   4:30   Lisa comes back to Gull Pond to pick every else up.  Josh refuses to leave, has to be carried kicking & screaming to van.
   5:30   Shower, wash beach towels and bathing suits.
   6:30   Ken cooks gourmet dinner
   8:00   Josh & Hannah refuse to eat Ken’s gourmet dinner, eat Cheerios instead.
   9:30   Try to get Josh & Hannah to bed,  They end up yelling at each other for an hour
  11:30   Hannah finally falls asleep

Monday
    7:00  Kids get up
    7:01  Ethan gets to watch “Power Rangers Kick the Bad Guys Butts”.
    7:30  Ethan tries out Power Ranger kick on back door.  Tai Kwan Do classes really working.
    7:35  Call up Real Estate agent, inform her of damage to front & back doors
    8:00  Hannah makes omelets for breakfast.  Gets into fight with Josh who wants to make pancakes
    9:30  Put on suntan lotion
   10:00  Get lunch ready
   11:30  Leave for Newcomb Hollow Beach
   12:00  Arrive at beach, parking lot is full.  Go to White Crest Beach, get last space in parking lot
   1:15   1/2 hour walk to beach carrying lunch, beach toys, kids
   2:00   Hannah has a fuss because we didn’t pack anything for lunch that she likes
   3:30   Josh & Hannah fight over beach toys.  Even though there is 2 of everything, there is a microscopic scratch in one of the shovels.  Both want the shovel without the microscopic scratch.
   4:30   Fuss over leaving
   5:00   Back at house, shower, wash towels and bathing suits
   6:30   Ken cooks dinner
   8:00   Eat dinner
   9:30   Hannah has 2 1/2 hour screaming fit because she doesn’t like her bed.

Tuesday
   7:00   Kids get up
   8:00   Give kids junk food breakfast in front of TV
   8:30   Josh & Hannah fight over which TV show to watch.  Loose TV for rest of the day
   9:00   Josh & Hannah fight over new game
   9:30   Put on suntan lotion
   10:00  Get lunch ready
   11:30  Go to bay beach
   12:00  Get to bay beach
   12:05  Josh is bored, has a fuss
   1:00   Josh and Hannah get into a fight
   2:00     ”   ”     ”    ”    ”  ”   “
   3:00     ”   ”     ”    ”    ”  ”   “
   4:30   Go back to house
   5:00   Back at house, shower, wash towels and bathing suits
   6:30   Go out to eat in Provincetown
   7:00   Get into Provincetown, wait 40 minutes to get into restaurant
   8:00   Gulp down meal because Josh & Hannah are both losing it
   9:30   Try to get kids to sleep.  Have to physically restrain Josh for 45 minutes because he’s angry at Hannah for teasing him.

Wednesday
   7:00   Kids up, TV, fight
   8:30   Breakfast
   9:30   Starts raining
   10:00  Dig up book on rainy day activities.  Josh & Hannah declare everything is boring
   12:00  Lunch
   12:30  Go to movie theater.  Have to get 2 hours early because every parent on the Cape is bringing their kids in to see only showing of any kid’s movie (Tarzan) that’s playing all day.
    4:30  Back at house
    5:00  Rental movie keeps kids occupied for 90 minutes while Ken makes dinner
    6:30  Josh & Hannah don’t like Ken’s gourmet macaroni & cheese.
    7:30  Fight
    8:30  Fight
    9:30  Hannah has horrible screaming fit and has to be physically held down for 1/2 hour.   Ethan permanently traumatized.
   10:30  Hannah still keeping everyone awake.
   11:30    ”      ”      ”        ”       “
   12:30    ”      ”      ”        ”       “
    1:00  Hannah finally falls asleep

Thursday
   9:30  Everyone wakes up, physically exhausted from last night
  10:30  Breakfast
  11:30  Suntan lotion
  12:00  Get lunch ready
   1:00  Leave for Gull Pond
   1:30  Get to Gull Pond
   2:00  Rent kayaks.  Josh & Hannah actually happy for a few hours
   5:30  Leave
   6:00  Back at house.  Shower, wash towels
   7:00  Ken too exhausted to cook.  Order take out from Moby Dick’s.
   8:00  Dinner
  10:00  Everyone collapses.

Friday
   Free day!

Well anyway, I think that takes care of the first week.  Do you guys have any suggestions?

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 Sept 17th, Saturday, 9:00PM-1:00ish – Better Off Dead at The Great Notch Inn, Route 46, Little Falls  (973) 256-7742
The Great Notch Inn (AKA GNI, AKA “The Notch”) continues to stand tall in the face of ongoing construction on Route 46, and Better Off Dead (BOD) continues to stagger on in the face of ongoing arthritis and old age.   We will rock till we drop.
http://www.betteroffdead.com/home.htm
http://www.agreatertown.com/little_falls_nj/great_notch_inn_new_jerseys_rockin_roadhouse_00089580
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Great-Notch-Inn/45741843010?fref=ts

Oct 1st, Saturday, 8:00PM-10:00 – Shuffle, Jump, and Moan at Hat City, 459 Valley Street,  City of Orange, NJ 07050 (862) 252-9147And it’s the first official show of the fall for Shuffle, Jump, and Moan.  Tarzan say, “Hat City good”.  Jane says, “Hat City has an eclectic New Orleans influenced menu, a wide variety of domestic and imported beers, is clean & comfortable, and supports live music.”
http://www.hatcitykitchen.com 
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Shuffle-Jump-Moan/379081422265206?fref=ts

In which I regretfully have to depart

It was sometime in the early 2000s.   The exact date – even the year – has been lost to the mists of memory.   We were going to see my sister-in-law Susan perform with  this comedy improv group she had joined called Lunatic Fringe.   They were playing at a local dessert place called The Soda Shop (I think).   As we were waiting for the show to start, Deb Maclean -the director of the group – was walking around around the room shouting “Is there a piano player in the house?”.     Apparently the regular piano player was a no show.   I tried to hide under the table but everyone else pointed at me.   And so I was summarily dragooned into playing piano with this bunch of crazy talented people.

At first I had no idea what I was doing.  Sometimes I was laughing so hard I forgot that I was on stage.   Then I’d hear a frantic whisper.  “Eric, Eric!”    Oh yeah that’s right, I’m supposed to be playing piano.  Sometimes I puzzled over what music to play.   What song goes with a skit about tooth paste? 

In the many years since I’ve performed with these folks all over New Jersey and even took a few ventures into Manhattan.   I’ve had more fun than I thought possible and have stocked away enough memories to last several lifetimes.   There’s been some sadness too,  Jerry Lazar’s death was a tragic loss.

Anyway, it’s now my time to say good-bye – at least as the regular “house piano player”.   My life has become overly-full and I have to let some things go.   Does this mean I’ll never, ever perform with Lunatic Fringe again.   Of course not – I’ll still jump in in a pinch. 

“You’ll never know what hit you when you swing with Lunatic Fringe, yeah!!!”

And take on something new
So I’ve been pretty low key about this up to now, but I guess it’s time to come out.   I’ve been bitten by the composing bug and have contracted a very serious composition fever.   Not to worry, it’s not contagious – but it is has taken over much of my musical mental space.  
So what am I doing about this?  Well,  I’ve just finished up my second year of study at Juilliard Evening School and have written a medium sized handful of pieces of chamber music.  At the recommendation of one of my professors, I’ve joined a non-profit New York based Composer’s Collective.  

Last month a short piano piece of mine got it’s public debut at a piano recital; and later this month my first woodwind quintet will be performed in New York.   

Where this is all going to lead?   Likely not very far.   If there’s any field of music which is even less profitable and even more obscure than playing the blues in small New Jersey clubs it’s the classical music field.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
June 11th, Saturday, 8-9:30 PM – Lunatic Fringe,  Glen Ridge Community Center @ The Glen Ridge Train Station, 228 Ridgewood Avenue (corner of Bloomfield Avenue), Glen Ridge, NJ   Reservations: (973) 429-1527
A bittersweet last regular show.  Tickets: $12 at the door; $10 with a reservation
http://www.lunaticfringeimprov.com
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=53938723078&ref=ts

June 18th, Saturday, 9:00PM-1:00ish – Better Off Dead at The Great Notch Inn, Route 46, Little Falls  (973) 256-7742
It’s sum-sum-summer time and it will be still light out when we start playing.   Vroom, vroom, vroom go the bikes merrily down Route 46.
http://www.betteroffdead.com/home.htmhttp://www.agreatertown.com/little_falls_nj/great_notch_inn_new_jerseys_rockin_roadhouse_00089580
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Great-Notch-Inn/45741843010?fref=ts

June 20th, Monday, 8:00PM-9:30ish – Summer Winds: New Music for Woodwind Quintet at Fort Washington Collegiate Church, 729 West 181st Street, New York, NY 10033
So this is it, my big classical music composing public coming out.  There will be music by seven (count them – 7) composers at this concert – including a piece by yours truly.  I don’t know the order of the pieces – I might be first, I might be last.  I can report that the woodwind players are excellent – they’ve got a killer bassoon player.  Tickets are $15.  You can buy tickets in advanced here: 
http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/2561555http://www.composerscollective.org
http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/2561555

June 25th, Saturday, 7:00PM-9:00ish – at Ruthie’s Bar-B-Q & Pizza, 64 1/2 Chestnut Ave, Montclair  (973) 509-1134A Better off Dead double header this month.  Hopefully the weather gods will smile on us as we play out on the back veranda.   BYO and be patient when ordering food – it’s worth the wait.
http://www.ruthiesbbq.com/http://www.betteroffdead.com/home.htm

May 12, 2016:      He is Not Someplace

Apologies for cluttering up your inbox.   I goofed.   There is no Lunatic Fringe show this Saturday.   It will be next Saturday, the 21st— same time 8:00  — but in a different venue.    Here are the details:

Lunatic Fringe
Saturday, May 21
8:00 pm
Mint’s Place
74 Morse Avenue
Bloomfield, NJ

Tickets: $12; $10 with a reservation
Reservations and Information: 973-429-1527

Now I will not be performing in this show, but that’s no reason not to go – they will be just as funny in my absence.   Maybe they’ll even have a few laughs at my expense.