June 6, 2023:      This Month’s To Do List

I thought that when I retired I would have plenty of free time.  Hah.  Here’s what’s currently “on my plate”:

• Get ready for International Blues Challenge next Saturday – finalize pieces, get timings, practice tricky sections
• Work on new pieces for Piano Trio – get enough ready in time for Composer’s Salon at end of month.  I have to pick out one of these and finish up no later than August 15 for the finalist round in the “International Finzi Academy Composition Competition” in Verbania Italy.
• Buy new jeans, old ones too ripped
• Re-grout bathroom shower
• Keep working on Symphonic Odyssey #1 – even if only 10 minutes a day
  • Much work on drums
  • Polish up sections L thru P
  • Add saxophones to section R
• Be a good husband, father, uncle, & friend 
• Get down Karate Advanced Self Defense patterns 6 thru 10
• Practice sight reading at least 15 minutes a day
  • Finish Bach cycle (Italian Suites, etc)
  • Read through James Johnston and Earl Garner transcriptions
• Upgrade composition software to Dorico 5
  • Try out new drum sounds in Symphonic Odyssey #1
• Start working more with Pro Tools (to get more comfortable with its weird interface)
• Re-balance 401K retirement portfolio
• Get back on regular schedule for swimming – at least once a week
• Tighten up remaining short piano pieces – expand opening on Inventional #4, fix up 3rd & 4th “verses” of Sketch 1.2.
• Do some reading – I’ve reserved Of Human Bondage at the Montclair Public Library
• Continue work on polishing video of performance of Suite for Strings – violins way too loud, cellos, double basses too soft. 
• Make appointment to get wisdom tooth pulled (ugh)

Pshew.   And likely I’ve omitted a few that aren’t coming to mind just now. 

Meanwhile I hope that you will have some spare room on your plate to come out and hear some great music.
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Thursday June 8th, 8:00PM -12:00AM
Better Off Dead at Great Notch Inn,
400 US-46, Woodland Park, NJ 07424 (973) 256-7742
Last month I asked if there’s a specific term for a group of motorcyclists.   KevinK suggests a “bunch” of bikers; while AJ suggests a “racket” of motorcycles.  In a contrary suggestion, BenS says that we should not use the term for crows (look it up if you don’t know).  I sort of like AJs suggestion, but am open to other thoughts.   Meanwhile, at our last gig at the Notch someone left three $100 bills in the band tip jar.  I hope this person returns.
http://www.betteroffdead.com
https://www.facebook.com/Great-Notch-Inn-45741843010/

Saturday June 17th, 11:00AM – 4:00PM
International Blues Challenge at Stanhope House,
45 Main St, Stanhope, NJ 07874
The International Blues Challenge (IBC) is a yearly event sponsored by the Blues Foundation to identify the best blues performers; it takes place in Memphis Tennessee.  But to get to Memphis you first have to compete in local events – which in my case is sponsored by the North Jersey Blues Society.   I will be competing in the solo/duo category – which means I will be up on stage by my lonesome self with no support.  And I am up against some very strong competition.   So if you can make it out to Stanhope next Saturday and cheer me on it would be most appreciated.   The event goes from 11AM to 4 PM, but as of sending this out I do not know what time I will be performing (and performers are allotted a maximum of 20 minutes) – but I will post this on Facebook when I find out.  If you are not on FB and still want to come, let me know and I’ll send out a follow up letting you know my time slot.   There may be an entrance fee to get in – $10?  $20?  Not sure.
https://stanhopehousenj.com/
https://www.northjerseybluessociety.org/post/crossroads-to-memphis-local-ibc-challenge-meet-the-bands

Friday June 23rd, 7:00PM-9:00
Better Off Dead at Ruthie’s BBQ
64 1/2 Chestnut Ave, Montclair, NJ  (973) 509-1134
With any luck the weather gods will cooperate and we’ll play outdoors on the world famous Ruthie’s Veranda.  Friday Nights are typically very busy, so if you want a good table I suggest you get there by 6:30.   Remember to BYO.
http://www.betteroffdead.com/home.htm
http://www.ruthiesbbq.com/

May 4, 2023:      In Search of Lost Times

So Lisa & I were watching SNL last weekend and it turned out to be a re-run.  The opening skit was about the Chinese spy balloon – it was pretty good (although we are so desperate for laughs that we have likely lowered our standards).  We then said to each other – “Hey, when was that?”  We were both stumped.  Was it just the other month?  Was it last fall?  Last summer?

The news has been so crazy these day – it seems like every week there is some new crazy/random thing coming out of nowhere – war, climate change, shootings, etc, etc, etc.   New craziness drives out older craziness.  

Maybe it is related to being retired, but my sense of time has become a bit muddled.  In one of his dark comic novels, Slaughterhouse 5, Kurt Vonnegut imagines that we live in a “block universe” (AKA eternalism).  In a block universe there is no such thing as time – the past, present, and future all “exist” – and the passage of time is an illusion because our frail human minds can only perceive one slice of time (at a time).   In Slaughterhouse 5, Vonnegut adds the wrinkle that we can sort of travel back & forth in time – we can choose what moments of our lives we want to experience (mostly the enjoyable ones).  

While Slaughterhouse 5 is fiction, this notion is not entirely without some foundation.  I find that random (and sometimes very vivid) memories of my life flit across my mind without warning – stuff from childhood, high school, college, something that happened at work 25 years ago.  Why do certain memories have significance 50 years later?  Beats me, but it keeps me entertained.

Oh that Chinese balloon things?  It was shot down Feb 4th this year – but if you had told me it was a year ago I would have believed you.

Meanwhile, here are some news worthy events this month – I hope you can keep these straight in your mind – I can.
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Friday May 5, 8:00PM-11:30ish
Better Off Dead at Shillelagh Club
648 Prospect Ave, West Orange, NJ  (973) 509-1134
The Shillelagh Club is billing this Friday as Cinco de Mayo night,  so it’s sort of an ethnic mashup – but in a good way.  In spite of its obvious origins as an Irish social club, the Shillelagh Club welcomes everyone – and they feature mostly local rock and/or blues bands.  They serve top notch bar food – I don’t know if they will have a special Mexican themed menu, but you can always rely on their burgers & fries.  One of these years I’ll have to check out their Haggis Night.
http://www.betteroffdead.com
https://shillelaghclub.com/

Friday May 12, 7:00PM-9:00
Better Off Dead at Ruthie’s BBQ
64 1/2 Chestnut Ave, Montclair, NJ  (973) 509-1134
According to my iPhone Weather App it’s supposed to be sunny and in the 70s next Friday – so hopefully we’ll be playing outside on the world famous Ruthie’s Veranda.   If bad weather, we squeeze inside.   Either way it’s always a great time.  Remember to BYO.
http://www.betteroffdead.com/home.htm
http://www.ruthiesbbq.com/

Tuesday May 16th, 8:00PM -12:00AM
Better Off Dead at Great Notch Inn,
400 US-46, Woodland Park, NJ 07424(973) 256-7742
Vroom, vroom, vroom go the Harleys.  “The Notch” has been sitting there on Route 46 for as long as I can recall.  In one of those memories that pop up I recall sitting in the back seat of my parent’s 55 Ford driving by the Notch – and my mother says in an ominous voice “That’s where the motorcycle hoodlums go”   Cue the ominous music.   If you’ve ever seen The Wild Ones with Marlon Brando you’ll know what I’m talking about.  Anyway, you’ll still see a scattering of bikes in the parking lot – which opens up another question.  Is there a word for a group of motorcyclists?   Somehow group does not seem to fit and gang has implications.  A coven of motorcyclists?  A covey?  A pod?  Inquiring minds want to know.
http://www.betteroffdead.com
https://www.facebook.com/Great-Notch-Inn-45741843010/

March 29, 2023:      The 5 Fingers

So back in 2017 I was finishing up the last year of composition study at Juilliard Extension, and Professor Cummings gave the class an assignment he called “Piece in a Hat”.  Each student would pick a slip of paper out of a hat – and on that slip of paper would be 8 bars or so of some fairly obscure piano work by an otherwise fairly well known composer.  The assignment was to use that little snippet of music as a starting point and then compose a short piano piece in one week.  One of my fellow students went first – and when I heard the little piece of music she had selected I was jealous – because I really liked it and knew I could do something good with it.  The composing gods were smiling on me that evening, because my fellow student already knew the piece – and so had to pick again.  Professor Cummings asked if anyone else wanted to use the music.  My hand reflexively shot up – “I’ll take it!”
 
I had no idea who the actual composer of my little assignment was – my best guess was Bartok.   Long story short – I composed a little piece and was very happy with the way it turned out.  It was then revealed that that actual composer of my assignment was Stravinsky.  I went out to YouTube to hear what Stravinsky had done with that little snippet of music.  But when I heard what Stravinsky had composed it was a big letdown, because old Igor had composed this piece for his children as a piano exercise and had limited the melody (right hand) to only 5 notes to make it easier for his children to play.  In other words he put on a musical straight jacket while composing this piece.   
 
Meanwhile, it turns out that Stravinsky had actually written 8 of these little pieces – titled Les Cinq Doigts (which means The Five Fingers in French).  I had just finished work on a huge 3 movement string quartet and this presented the perfect opportunity to take on something smaller in scope – so I decided to “collect the whole set” as it were.  It was like 8 tasty little musical after dinner mints.  I took the same approach as with my classwork assignment.  Using the opening 8 bars or so each piece and then – respecting Stravinsky’s feel as much as possible – I composed new music that employed the full range of notes.  The only exception was the last piece, where I also used Stravinsky’s ending as well as the beginning.
 
Variations on Stravinsky’s Les Cinq Doigts got it’s world premiere performance back in 2019 by a superb virtuoso pianist Craig Ketter.  You can see/listen to it here on YouTube.   And sorry Stravinsky fans out there, but I much prefer my versions to Igor’s.   If you wish to take exception to this, you can listen to the original versions (among many other places) here:   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mobTf5LO2lE  

The reason I bring this up is that this Friday I will be performing a few of these at Trend Cafe in scenic downtown Montclair (details just below).  I wish I could play these pieces as well as Mr. Ketter, but I will fumble along as well as I can.

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Friday March 31st, 8:00PM-10:00
Eric Heilner at Trend Cafe
411 Bloomfield Avenue, Montclair NJ 973-744-1333
This is a rare solo appearance by yours truly.  I will be playing piano doing a mix of blues, boogie-woogie, and 60s hits (Beatles, Beach Boys, Doors, etc).  Also – I will also be playing (or stumbling through) some of my original piano compositions.  Trend Café is a cute and funky little sandwich & dessert place located in the heart of busy downtown Montclair.  Please note that I use “funky” in the positive sense of the word here.  One mild warning – when I say “busy” downtown Montclair, this is no exaggeration – downtown Montclair gets packed on Friday Night.  You may have to park several blocks away – or in the adjacent parking deck.   But please don’t let that discourage you.  Trend Cafe is also child friendly – that is if you let your kids stay up that late.
http://www.trendcoffee.com
https://www.facebook.com/dime.trendhouse.7

Saturday April 1, 8:00PM-10:00
Lunatic Fringe at The Glen Ridge Train Station,
4228 Ridgewood Ave (corner of Bloomfield Ave) Glen Ridge, NJ
It has been many years since I last played with the comedy improv group Lunatic Fringe.  I reluctantly had to give up up performing as their regular musical accompanist due to scheduling difficulties, but as their regular piano player cannot make it I am jumping in and helping out – enthusiastically I might add.  If you’re looking for a laugh in these grim times, you’ve come to the right place.
Admission is $12, $10 with reservation.  Call 973 429-1527 for reservations/information.
https://sites.google.com/site/lunaticfringeimprov/home
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100057610301175
 
Thursday April 13, 7:00PM-10:00
ROWING IN EDEN
Church of the Transfiguration, Little Church Around the Corner
1 East 29th Street, New York, New York
The first “episode” (AKA movement) of my piece for string quartet – SQrt Season 1, Episode 1 – will get it’s debut world performance this month at the latest concert put on by the New York Composer’s Circle.  The Bergamot Quartet will be performing.  My piece is first on the program, so don’t be late.  It will be followed by 5 other pieces by my fellow composers.   Stick around for wine & cheese after the concert.  General admission is $20, $15 for seniors, students are free.   Advanced sales start tomorrow. 
https://www.newyorkcomposerscircle.org/calendar/2022-2023.html

March 2, 2023:      In Synch

Those of you who are friends with me out on Facebook have likely seen this already, but this is funny enough to repeat for the benefit of others.

After being together some 35 odd years, Lisa & I are attuned to each other, sometimes to an alarming degree.

Case in point. We don’t do any elaborate gifts, but on our anniversary & on Valentine’s Day we exchange humorous greeting cards. This is always a challenge. Giving the funniest (and most appropriate) greeting card is close to a full contact sport in our family. Anyway, this Valentine’s Day the inevitable finally happened – we gave each other the same card.

It should be noted (as Lisa will readily admit) that I’m usually the one who is willing to go anywhere.

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Meanwhile, I hope to give you an appropriate humorous greeting should you come to hear me play this month.

Friday March 3, 7:00PM-9:00
Better Off Dead at Ruthie’s BBQ
64 1/2 Chestnut Ave, Montclair, NJ  (973) 509-1134
Ruthie’s may be my favorite place to play.  We start at a reasonable hour, we get free food, and I’m home in time to have my evening tea & cookies and watch Bill Maher’s “New Rules” (for those of you in the know).   Remember to BYO. 
http://www.betteroffdead.com/home.htm
http://www.ruthiesbbq.com/

Saturday March 4, 9:00PM -1:00AM
Better Off Dead at Great Notch Inn, 
400 US-46, Woodland Park, NJ 07424 (973) 256-7742
It’s back to back fun this weekend.  The great thing about back to back shows is that I can keep my keyboards in the car overnight so I eliminate 2 equipment shlepps (bringing my equipment into the house, and then bringing it back out into the car the next day).
http://www.betteroffdead.com
https://www.facebook.com/Great-Notch-Inn-45741843010/

Friday March 17, 8:00PM-10:00
Eric Heilner at Trend Cafe,
411 Bloomfield Avenue, Montclair NJ 973-744-1333
This is a rare solo appearance by yours truly.   I will be playing piano doing a mix of blues, boogie-woogie, and 60s hits (Beatles, Beach Boys, Doors, etc).  Also – I will also be debuting some original  piano compositions.  Trend Café is a cute and funky little sandwich & dessert place located in the heart of busy downtown Montclair.   Please note that I use “funky” in the positive sense of the word here.  One mild warning – when I say “busy” downtown Montclair, this is no exaggeration – downtown Montclair gets packed on Friday Night.  You may have to park several blocks away – or in the adjacent parking deck.   But please don’t let that discourage you.  Trend Cafe is also child friendly – that is if you let your kids stay up that late.
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Shuffle-Jump-Moan/379081422265206?fref=ts
http://www.trendcoffee.com

January 16, 2023:      Being silly

I think it was the spring semester of my second year studying composition at the Julliard Extension.  Professor Cummings gave us an assignment to compose a short piece using 2 wildly different key signatures at the same time.  This may not mean much to you non-musicians out there, but all my musician friends will recognize this as something very tricky to carry across if you are tonally oriented (as I am) – basically it sounds like the musicians are making mistakes and hitting a bunch of wrong notes.  I dutifully did my best, but after it was performed I said to Professor Cummings that it sounded silly – like a PDQ Bach parody.  

To which Professor Cummings replied, “Eric, be silly!”   I was startled – this was a novel concept to me. Now there is a long tradition of doing obvious musical parodies and/or pieces that are musical jokes from the start.  One of my favorite records when I was growing up was Spike Jones’ parody of Carmen.    But as I am not in the business of doing musical parodies, being silly can be a tricky proposition. Nonetheless, through the years I have tried to follow Professor Cummings’ advise.

Case in point – my composition for saxophone quartet The Source of the Beat.   This piece is heavily influenced by field recordings of native African music – the polyphonic singing by the Bayaka tribes and music from the Dagomba region of Ghana.   Nonetheless I didn’t want it to be too serious; I envisioned opening the piece with some sort of musical joke.  My first thought was to do a parody of a big band – but I couldn’t pull that off.  Then somehow I hit on the idea of starting off with the opening theme music from I Love Lucy.  I couldn’t do the entire piece (it’s over 1 minute) so I just did the iconic opening 2 bars and threw in a few wrong notes just to get the idea across.

So far so good.  Then as I was composing – I noticed about 2 minutes into the piece that I had composed a phrase that was similar to the next part of the I Love Lucy theme.   Hmmm.   This was a compositional dilemma.  If I went down this path, then I was committed to following through and sneaking in the rest of the theme (or at least a good chunk of it).  I took the leap and eventually incorporated the first 2 & the last 2 sections from the I Love Lucy theme.  So if you listen to the full piece, you will hear 4 sections of the I Love Lucy.  You can click this link to go out to YouTube and listen.  Just below I’ve listed exactly when the sections play – and YouTube displays the elapsed time in minutes & seconds.

0:00 – Dah Dah Dah da-da DAH DA_DAH!
1:52 – Dah Dah Dah da-da DAH DA_DAH!
5:55 – Dah DAH da DAH da DAH-DAH!
8:10 – da DA-A-AH, da da da DA-A-AH, da da da D-A-A-AH, dah dah da-da-da-da-da DA-A-A-A-AH!

BTW – mea culpa here.  YouTube pays something like .003 cents for every listen, so I’m expecting to make some big bucks from this.

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Friday January 20, 8:00PM-11:30ish
Better Off Dead at Shillelagh Club
648 Prospect Ave, West Orange, NJ  (973) 509-1134
And speaking of Shillelaghs –  as you drive along Prospect Ave at night, you may feel like you’re in the middle of a forest.  But when your GPS says “you’ve arrived at your destination“, you will notice a parking lot lit up with bright green LED lights – which lets you know that indeed you have arrived at a great destination.  I’ll be making da music with [no “the“] Better Off Dead.
http://www.betteroffdead.com
https://shillelaghclub.com/

Saturday January 21, 7:30PM-10:00
New Music for a New Year at the National Opera Center
330 7th Ave, 7th floor, New York, NY 10001  (973) 509-1134
I’m psyched that the third “episode” of my string quartet will get its debut concert performance next month and will be performed by a truly outstanding string quartet ensemble The Rhythm Method (and yes, it appears that they capitalize the “The” in their name).   This concert is being produced by the Composer’s Collective of New York and (besides my piece) will showcase compositions by 7 other composers from the group.  Tickets are $15 in advance and $20 at the door.  You may purchase advanced tickets here.
https://www.operaamerica.org/national-opera-center/
http://www.composerscollective.org/#

Thursday January 26th, 8:00PM -12:00AM
Better Off Dead at Great Notch Inn,  
400 US-46, Woodland Park, NJ 07424 (973) 256-7742
It’s Better Off Dead’s first “Notch” show of the year.   Being this is a Thursday, we start at the more reasonable hour of 8:00.
http://www.betteroffdead.com
https://www.facebook.com/Great-Notch-Inn-45741843010/

December 14, 2022:      The case of the missing ‘the‘

Dear readers: I had something else in mind for this month’s missive but (as you will see) I got sidetracked by the lengthy description of my first gig this month and my train of thought had left the station by the time I got back.

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Friday December 16, 8:00PM-11:30ish
Holiday Benefit Blues Jam for the Montclair Child Development Center at the Shillelagh Club
648 Prospect Ave, West Orange, NJ  (973) 509-1134
As I was typing this a thought struck me (fortunately it was only a glancing blow).  Should there be a “the” in the description just above – and if so should it be capitalized?  This is not a simple question.  Just for instance, the 60s rock group Cream (you remember them) insisted that their name was simply Cream and not “the Cream”.  Now I’m not  rock & roll historian, but I belief that this was the start of a trend.  Yes there were exceptions but most major acts in the 60s had that “the”: the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, etc.   But by the 70s you had Led Zeppelin, Steely Dan, etc. 

Yeah, yeah, Led Zep got started in 1969, but I consider them to be a 70s band.   So there, nyah, nyah.

Next – assuming you have that “the” in your band’s name, what are the rules are for capitalization?  I’m not 100% convinced, but based on my extensive research (5 minutes) it appears that the “the” is not capitalized unless it’s the first word in the sentence (as all first words should be).  So why do some bands use “the” and others not?   AFAICT you use “the” if the name is a plural.  So if Jimmy Page had chosen a plural name then we would say the Led Zeppelins.  But this is only a preliminary result – if there are any professional grammarians out there reading this, I encourage you to help confirm this nagging detail.

Meanwhile, back to my original dilemma whether [the] Montclair Child Development Center (AKA MCDC) has a 1960s style name or 1970s?  My hunch was the 60s, but I’m a stickler for accuracy so just to be extra sure I went out to the website of [the] Montclair Child Development Center and . . . the results are mixed.  In the page heading there is no “the“, but everywhere else?  Yes indeed, we see that danged “the“.  So my first instinct was basically correct.  

And speaking of instincts, this Friday evening I hope you will follow your first instinct and head on over to the Shillelagh Club in West Orange and hear some great music. Al Gold has assembled a rotating cast of some of the finest blues musicians in the area and we’ll figure out what we’re playing when we hit the stage.  And in spite of it’s seeming ethnic identity, the Shillelagh Club hosts many of the areas top blues and r&r/r&b  bands.  The club has excellent bar food (I can recommend the burgers) and a lively friendly mix of folks.
https://shillelaghclub.com/

Fun fact: there is actually a band called the The.


Saturday December 17th, 9:00PM -1:00AM
Better Off Dead at Great Notch Inn,
400 US-46, Woodland Park, NJ 07424(973) 256-7742
It’s the annual Christmas Party Extravagonzo at “Da Notch”.  Once again I will humiliate myself and put on an elf’s hat and play some very strange off beat “holiday” music (hint – the holidaze are an excuse for various types of bad behavior).  And a rum-ba-ba-bum to you too.
http://www.betteroffdead.com
https://www.facebook.com/Great-Notch-Inn-45741843010/

And looking ahead to January . . .

Friday January 20, 8:00PM-11:30ish
Better Off Dead at Shillelagh Club
648 Prospect Ave, West Orange, NJ  (973) 509-1134
And speaking of Shillelaghs –  as you drive along Prospect Ave at night, you may feel like you’re in the middle of a forest.  But when your GPS says “you’ve arrived at your destination“, you will notice a parking lot lit up with bright green LED lights – which lets you know that indeed you have arrived at a great destination.  I’ll be making da music with [no “the“] Better Off Dead.
http://www.betteroffdead.com
https://shillelaghclub.com/

Saturday January 21, 7:30PM-10:00
New Music for a New Year at the National Opera Center
330 7th Ave, 7th floor, New York, NY 10001  (973) 509-1134
I’m psyched that the third “episode” of my string quartet will get its debut concert performance next month and will be performed by a truly outstanding string quartet ensemble The Rhythm Method (and yes, it appears that they capitalize the “The” in their name).   This concert is being produced by the Composer’s Collective of New York and (besides my piece) will showcase compositions by 7 other composers from the group.  Tickets are $15 in advance and $20 at the door.  You may purchase advanced tickets here.
https://www.operaamerica.org/national-opera-center/
http://www.composerscollective.org/#